Ever since
Disney made the announcement on Disney
Junior about this new TV movie from Sofia
the First, I pondered about it.
Well, telling by Sofia's debut movie of the same name, it was too childish for me to watch as an adult. This movie was so popular that it spawned a TV series on Disney Junior.
Well, telling by Sofia's debut movie of the same name, it was too childish for me to watch as an adult. This movie was so popular that it spawned a TV series on Disney Junior.
The show itself
was just as mediocre as its debut movie, I'll say. Frankly, the show was just
as clichéd and kiddy-diddy for the adult audience than it is to the kids,
because this show was intended for kids (obviously). Surely there must be a
movie that can either exploit this mediocre, sugar-coated Disney delight, or
redeem it somehow...?
On November 10,
2013, I heard about the new TV movie Sofia
the First: The Floating Palace.
The movie’s trailer looked epic, because it curbed my hunger for adventure, monsters, mermaids, and princesses. I haven't seen the movie yet, because it comes out on Sunday, November 24, 2013. So to build anticipation, Disney had the clever idea of showing the epic parts of the movie, while revealing a cameo Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid. That was it. Surely, that trailer must have got you hooked, because that's what it's done to me.
The movie’s trailer looked epic, because it curbed my hunger for adventure, monsters, mermaids, and princesses. I haven't seen the movie yet, because it comes out on Sunday, November 24, 2013. So to build anticipation, Disney had the clever idea of showing the epic parts of the movie, while revealing a cameo Princess Ariel from The Little Mermaid. That was it. Surely, that trailer must have got you hooked, because that's what it's done to me.
Wow. I bet this
movie must be good. Well, I don't say the same thing for the debut movie or the
TV show... Look, I know I said that the show itself was mediocre, but can this
new movie at least attempt a C+ performance? I mean, come on. It's Sofia the First, an innocent kids' show
that my 2-year-old nephew sometimes sees whenever Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Jake
and the Neverland Pirates aren't on. This movie can't deprive itself of its
own performance level on TV...
One
Viewing Later...
I'm at a loss
for words right now... (pause) Okay, I got something. Disney has done
it. Oh, wow. They've done it alright...
I don’t know
what to think about this movie. After watching this movie, I had mixed emotions
on it. Some of the movie was okay, but some of it wasn’t so great. It was
adventurous in a way, but some of the scenes were kinda boring, and some were
clichéd. I don’t know, but something about this movie was both good and bad.
But which one is it? Good or bad? Let’s find out in Sofia the First: The Floating Palace.
Opening Scene:
The
movie starts (obviously) at the ocean.-Oooh! Dolphins! Too bad they’re the only ones that are in this movie.
-Not to give anything away, but even though the movie is entitled Sofia the First: The Floating Palace, most of the movie doesn’t take place at the Floating Palace. Kind of contradictory…
We
see Sofia reading a book about mermaids, until her stepsister Amber urges her
outside.
It turns out that the royal family are on vacation at a place called Merriway Cove…
-…which is remote for an island.
Where are the other vacationers? The festivities? Hula dancers?It turns out that the royal family are on vacation at a place called Merriway Cove…
Sofia
tells her family that she heard about mermaids, but her father explains that
mermaids are just stuff in fairytales.
-Just like this movie…Just then, a guy named Admiral Hornpipe makes his disbelief of mermaids known.
-Oh no. Is he going to be the kill-joy jerk stereotype of this movie?
-Plus, this dude has a funny name and a funny accent. Just listen to how he says this line:
Admiral Hornpipe: “Mermaids are not real.” (Yeah.)
Deck Scene:
Sofia
is disappointed that no one believes her…-Is it fair to point out that this is going to be the focal point of the movie?
But
then, she runs into her pet rabbit Clover, who spends most of his time eating
whatever’s put in front of him.
Villain’s Lair Scene:
We
then see our main villain, Cedric the Sorcerer, who’s… also on our cruise ship…-I guess he just came with any family package on this cruise ship. For example…
1. The “Gold” Family Package: You get this obnoxious guy that dresses up in Harry Potter’s hand-me-downs, and a quick cameo from a Disney celebrity.
2. The “Silver” Family Package: You get an obnoxious guy that dresses up in Harry Potter’s hand-me-downs, and a bunny that’ll eat almost anything that’s being handed to him.
3. The “Bronze” Family Package: … just the obnoxious sorcerer guy…
(I know. All the packages suck. But this cruise has no other options.)
…well,
back to the story, Cedric is devising a brand new evil plot to take over the
kingdom. This time, he plots to steal a special comb from the mermaids of
Merriway Cove to use at his own will. This leads to him wanting to kidnap a
mermaid to get the comb.
-Why doesn’t he just find another
hobby?
Deck Scene:
Meanwhile,
Sofia and Clover are talking until they see something lurk in the ocean.-That was fast. It’s been 3 ½ minutes, and already there’s something swimming in the water.
So
the… thing that’s in the water peeks
at the surface a few times until its tail gets caught in a net. Sofia untangles
her… yeah, Sofia comes across a real-life
mermaid.
-Is it sad to say that this mermaid
isn’t Ariel?-Strange name. Kinda pretentious for a kids’ movie…
…and Oona wanted to see the boat for herself.
The
two girls make small talk. Oona talks about the comb that she’s wearing on her
head. She says that the comb contains magical powers, but she doesn’t know what
it’s for…
-Wouldn’t it be great to know what
stuff is when your parents give you something? I mean, what if it was an alert
button, something bad happens and you need help?
Oona
decides to go home, but her tail is still hurt from the net. Sofia rushes into
the water to help her, only to turn into a mermaid herself.
It turns out that the amulet turned her into a mermaid, because she helped Oona out of the net…
-How does she know all that?It turns out that the amulet turned her into a mermaid, because she helped Oona out of the net…
Sofia
is excited and jumps into the water to show off her new mermaid moves. She
wants to follow Oona home to see where the mermaids live, and she tells Clover
about her leave.
-Hello. Where are the parents?
Seagull Scene:
We
cut to Clover fighting with a seagull over a bag of food…-It’s not that important. It’s probably a filler.
Meanwhile, Cedric sails into a cavern to carry out his evil deeds.
He plans to turn himself into a sea creature that will swim down to grab a mermaid.
-Wow, it’s like he’s having an orgasm as he explains his evil plot to his sidekick bird. I mean, chill out man! You’re a villain! Be credible!
So
Cedric turns himself into a sea monster…
-…which is definitely a cross
between Ursula from The Little Mermaid,
and Heath Thesaurus from Between the
Lions.-I mean, seriously. Cedric let himself go this time.
Cedric: “Everyone’s a critic.”
Underwater Scene:
Oona
shows Sofia her hide-away, which is a sunken ship. Oona proves this place to be her hide-out when she hides herself and Sofia from a seahorse named Sven. The seahorse eventually finds Oona, and is quick to suspect Sofia of being new around the cove.
-This seahorse is so paranoid. Just chill!!
Then
we find Oona’s older sister Cora come in see Sofia…
...and already she’s treating Oona like a child, which annoys Oona.
...and already she’s treating Oona like a child, which annoys Oona.
-Wow. He changed from suspicious of Sofia to giving her the welcome wagon that fast.
This
leads to the Merriway Cove “theme song” (I guess), which totally rips off that
“Under the Sea” song from The Little
Mermaid…
...I’m gonna skip this song.
...I’m gonna skip this song.
Then
we see Cedric spy on the two mermaids. He sees that Oona has the comb that he’s
looking for. He then finds out that Sofia is one of the mermaids.
-You know where this is going…Underwater Scene 2:
Sofia and Oona swim under the Floating Palace. Cora finds the two and tells Oona that their mom needs to see them right away. Sofia, without telling anybody, decides to tag along.
Sofia
purposefully outs herself in front of everyone, introducing herself, and
getting Plank, the senior advisor to the Queen, to introduce himself to her…
-Okay, I thought this movie was
supposed to be taken seriously…
The
Queen explains why humans are dangerous: because humans tried to kidnap some
young mermaids.
This story is linked to Oona’s hide-away (Thanks, Sven), and the Queen only wants her children to be safe.
This story is linked to Oona’s hide-away (Thanks, Sven), and the Queen only wants her children to be safe.
Plank
then advises that the mermaids remove Sofia’s ship from the cove. Sofia and
Oona object to this idea, but the mermaids won’t listen.
Plank suggests using a trident that has weather-changing abilities that can create a storm to destroy the ship.
Sven: “…Sounds a little drastic,
Plank, don’t you think?”Plank suggests using a trident that has weather-changing abilities that can create a storm to destroy the ship.
-No sh**, Sherlock! And besides, what side are you on, Sven?
Sofia
outs herself some more, claiming that the ship is hers. Plank finds this
appalling, but the Queen makes Sofia promise to remove the ship and then never
return to Merriway Cove. Sofia is sad by this, especially Oona.
-Just a quick note: I really want
to feel sympathetic towards these characters, but all this movie does this use
up there time explaining things. Why not create emotion that people can relate
to, instead of turning this into a Wikipedia
session?
Surface:
Oona
catches up with Sofia, and apologizes for her mom’s actions. The two say their good byes, and Sofia swims back to her ship.
Underwater Scene 3:
Oona
runs into Cedric who immediately captures her. Oona escapes when… Cedric tries to steal her comb, which zaps him(?)
On The Ship:
Sofia
is about to board back onto her ship when she sees Oona in danger .
Underwater Scene 4:
This results in
a chase scene with fish blocking people’s way… and Oona getting captured again.
Sofia
can’t find Oona, so she returns to the sea castle to inform the Queen about
Oona’s capture;
but no one believes her… no wait, Plank doesn’t believe her, and he insists on using the trident to destroy the ship once and for all.
but no one believes her… no wait, Plank doesn’t believe her, and he insists on using the trident to destroy the ship once and for all.
Sofia
begs for more time to remove her ship; the Queen gives her until sundown, in
which Sofia is gratefully accepts.
We
then learn that Plank’s hatred of humans came from an incident with the scar on
his left arm.
The Queen sends him to follow Sofia.
-Okay, one: if there’s a story
behind Plank’s scar, then why aren’t we told about it?The Queen sends him to follow Sofia.
-Plus, I told a lie. The Admiral Hornpipe guy from the beginning isn’t the real kill-joy in this movie- Plank is. Now I get it.
Meanwhile, Oona is trapped inside a cage. Cedric says one or two lines, and then he just leaves her there for some odd reason…
-I thought he wanted to steal her comb. (pause) Oh, that’s right. If he tried to steal it by hand, then the comb would zap him. Good excuse…
Deck Scene 2:
We
then cut to Clover still fighting the seagull over his bag of food…-This scene only lasts for a couple of minutes. It’s just filler.
Meanwhile,
the rest of the royal family sit around, not having any inkling where Sofia is
right now.
Underwater Scene 5:
Sofia runs into Sven who says that he believes her and wants to help her save Oona.
-Yeah, this was the seahorse that didn’t trust her at the start… Starting to see hypocrisy here?
Sven
asks who Sofia knows on the ship that can help them, and Sofia thinks of…
Deck Scene 3:
No, it just cuts
to Sofia boarding her ship and running into her butler Baileywick.
Sofia
goes to her parents and says that she met a mermaid, but no one believes her.
She tries explaining everything: the Queen, the sea monster, and the potential storm; but still no one listens. So, she decides that the only logical person that she can go to now is Clover, her bunny.
-(sarcasm)Yeah, if trouble brews in
your life, go tell it to your pet dog.She tries explaining everything: the Queen, the sea monster, and the potential storm; but still no one listens. So, she decides that the only logical person that she can go to now is Clover, her bunny.
Sofia
finds Clover with the seagull… stuck in a life-ring like two “lovers”…and she
explains everything to them…
-Geez, we’ve heard her repeat
herself three times in this movie so far… I know explanation avoids so many
plot holes; but even with explanation, this movie still has some plot holes.
Anyway,
it turns out that the seagull somehow knows Oona…
-That was so random…
The
animals agree to help Sofia.
-By the way, the seagull is named Farley.
We’re just now learning his name?
Underwater Scene 6:
Sofia
jumps back into the ocean. Plank sees this and reports to the Queen about the
girl’s so-called treachery. The Queen decides to give the humans one more hour
to live.-Good Lord, how many more chances is this queen going to give to people?
Cave Lair Scene 3:
Oona
refuses to surrender her combs, and Cedric leaves her again.-Geez! I thought he would threaten to eat her or something. I mean, what’s so dang important right now that he has to leave the mermaid by herself?
But
no. Cedric returns with his spell book to try and steal Oona’s comb magically.
-Oh great! Some spellcasting,
finally!
On
the first spell, Cedric’s wand lights up the cave, only for Farley to spot it.
It turns out that the spell didn’t work. Farley sees Oona inside the cage and flies
off to inform Sofia.
Deck Scene 4:
Meanwhile,
Clover just finished climbing some stairs. (Neat.) He meets up with Farley
again, and they fly away before Hornpipe the snooty captain can get them.
The
animals find Sofia and tell her the bad news about Oona being held captive
inside a cave. Sofia, Farley, and Sven go off to save Oona, while Clover is
left behind… again.
Cave Lair Scene 4:
Cedric
attempts another one of his “evil” spells. He decides to consult his spell books,
which are conveniently on the boat with him.-I have these books disguised as Harry Potter books. Mwa-hahahahaha!
Sofia
and Farley finally arrive to save Oona. Sofia sneaks on board the boat to find
the key to Oona’s cage.
They key is sitting conveniently on top of the spell books.
-Yeah, sea monsters don’t have
pockets.They key is sitting conveniently on top of the spell books.
But Cedric’s
sidekick crow-squid rats her out, and she is stopped by Cedric. However, Farley
flies in to save her.
Sofia
makes it to Oona’s cage again, but the key is knocked out of her hands by
Cedric’s magic. Sofia, like a puppy fetching a bone, chases the key into the
water.
Underwater Scene 7:
The
Queen decides to take matters into her own hands.Queen: “It’s time we take matters into our own hands…”
-Lady, I just said that!
Cora: “She’s my little sister, and I’m supposed to look out for her…”
-And I’m supposed to baby her as many times as possible and treat her low…
Surface Scene 2:
So the Queen and Plank-the-jerk-off set off to cast a storm at the boat.
This gets the attention of the royal family, and they send Baileywick to find Sofia.
-How inattentive can these parents get with their kids?!
Surface Scene 3:
Sofia
sees that her family’s ship is in danger. She’s sad that no one believes her, but then her amulet lights up, summoning Ariel the Mermaid.
-About bleepin’ time! It’s already the second half of… the second half of this movie!!!
Underwater Scene 8:
This
leads to Ariel singing to Sofia.-This seems very whimsical but… Oona’s still captured, and the Queen’s still creating a storm… So, doesn’t this musical number seem low? It’s like what the Nostalgia Critic said about The Secret of Nimh 2, where the main character is getting spoiled in his special schooling, while his brother is being kidnapped and tortured by mad scientists… Yeah.
Sofia
finds Cora and needs her help to save Oona.
We learn from Cora that Oona’s comb can control the ocean, and that the Queen gave it to Oona so that no one would abuse its powers.
-That was… weird. You’d think Cora would be given that responsibility,
not Oona. It’s like giving away a
passed-down-by-generations car to your 5-year-old, instead of your 18-year-old.We learn from Cora that Oona’s comb can control the ocean, and that the Queen gave it to Oona so that no one would abuse its powers.
Cora
agrees to help Sofia; but they have to act fast, because of the storm, and
because of the sea monster still having Oona.
Surface Scene 4:
Plank
tells the Queen to make the storm stronger, in which she blindly agrees. But
then Sven and his band of seahorses steal the Queen’s trident as a diversion. Sven tries explaining to the Queen that about the sea monster, but Plank wants none of it.
-Plank, shut up! Let the Queen do the thinking for once!
Cave Lair Scene 5:
Cedric
brags about finally finding a spell
that would work on Oona’s comb. The spell works, but Sofia arrives just in time
to snatch the comb away. Cedric wants the comb, but Sofia refuses to give it
up. Cedric tries casting a spell on her, but accidentally uses it to set Oona free.
Then
Clover, flying with Farley, pops out of nowhere and wraps up Cedric’s mouth.
-Dude, why not tie up the arms and
legs of this beast while you’re at it?
This
leads to an embarrassing fight scene on trying to possess the magic wand.
-Pretty lame. Where’s Harry Potter
in all of this?
Eventually,
Cedric gets back his wand, but Sofia has an ace up her sleeve: Cora uses the
comb to control the water and to blast Cedric away to kingdom come.
Cora
returns the comb to Oona, make up from her family issues, and the mermaids rush
to the Queen to return Oona. The mermaids confront Plank for being a jerk.
The
Queen apologizes for her misjudgment.
-Hey! Make Plank apologize for
being a jerk! (pause) Really? Plank is getting a free pass on being a jerk-off
in this movie? You gotta be kidding me!
The
Queen makes it up to Sofia by stopping the storm with her trident.
Surface Scene 5:
The
royal family is still surveying the storm, but they then see the mermaid queen
stop the storm. The storm finally goes away. Sofia changes back into a human. She reunites with her family; and they believe her now.
Amber: “I knew you were telling truth all along!”
-Uh... no. You and the rest of the family just doubted her the whole movie. Shame on you.
The
royal family is introduced to Oona and the other mermaids, including the Queen
herself.
-By the way, we learn that the
Queen’s name is Emmaline. What’s with learning the names of new characters at the
last minute? Wouldn’t you want to learn names prior to the ending?
We
then cut to Cedric climbing on board the Floating Palace and turning himself
back into his sorcerer self.
-First of all, why doesn’t anyone
else see him?-Plus, it’s like he’s clocking out on his shift of being a villain for a day. It’s like the day in the life if a bad guy:
1. Plot to steal something
2. Turn into a monster
3. Kidnap someone
4. Get defeated
5. Return back to the drawing board
Yeah, life’s a bitch when you’re evil…
Final Scene:
The
movie ends with the royal family and the mermaids getting along , and Ariel
giving us one last cameo before the credits roll.
And
that was… mediocre. Just mediocre. I like Disney Junior, but… this was crazy.
It’s
sad to see such a “popular” kids show be a serious down-frame. In fact, the
trailer for this movie was much more epic than the actual movie. I know that this movie tried to be adventurous and
entertaining, but it just wasn’t very engaging as I hoped it would be. Some of the characters
were either vague or just downright a joke. Plus, the songs were almost forgettable
(or I just didn’t seem interested in them).
And another
thing: Ariel the Mermaid had only one or two cameos in this movie? The trailer
made it seem like she would be one of the main characters in this movie, but
she wasn’t! That’s false advertising!
However, I would
give the movie credit for taking Sofia’s story further in adventure, whereas
her other adventures in this series were not as interesting. I guess what I’m
trying to say is that this movie could’ve been a little more edgy if:
1. The
villain was much more intimidating
2. Ariel
the Mermaid made a full appearance
3. There
were more fighting scenes
But for what it is… I don’t know.
If you like Sofia the First, then
there’s nothing wrong watching this movie, but be warned: the trailer may be
epic, but the actual movie is not.
Amateur Critic
Source:
Sofia the First: The Floating Palace
All rights go to Disney.
Amateur Critic
Source:
Sofia the First: The Floating Palace
All rights go to Disney.
No comments:
Post a Comment