Patiently Waiting for "Five Nights at Freddy's 3" Mobile Version...

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

For those of you who don't know...
-...even though pretty much everyone knows about the release on March 2, 2015...
I posted a blog post a few days ago of me being surprised that Five Nights at Freddy's 3 is out.

Already my favorite Youtube gamer channels are playing the game, except for me. Why is that? Well, just so we're clear...
1. I promised myself not to look at any Let's Play videos of this game, until I play the game myself.
2. On March, 2, 2015, the PC version of this game was only released to the public; and the word is that it'll take a matter of days before the mobile versions are released.
Yeah, I play the first two Five Nights at Freddy's games on my iPad; and I intend to play the third game on the same platform, because I have way too old of a laptop computer to buy the PC version of the games.

So how do we know when the mobile versions of Five Nights at Freddy's 3 will be released? Well, according to what I've learned on gamer news sites on the Internet, they all seem to be pointing to a teaser that Scott Cawthon posted on scottgames.com.

The teaser is a creepy-looking version of Balloon Boy. And the word is that if you adjust your brightness and contrast settings on your computer, it'll reveal the number 10 on the left side of the pic. Some people are speculating that this may indicate that 10 means "March 10," seeing that a typical mobile app version of a Five Nights at Freddy's game is released days after the PC version.
-Now, to be fair, this is just a theory that some people have come up with; and I'm personally not going to believe such a theory, because that hasn't been confirmed.

So right now, we can only wait for the mobile version of Five Nights at Freddy's 3 to come out. It might be released during Spring Break, or sooner. Who knows?

Whatsoever Critic
Source: Five Nights at Freddy's 3

Courtesy: Scott Cawthon

Top 10 Absurdities from "For The Honor of LarryBoy"

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

And yes, I am going on and on about the Veggietales In The House episode "For The Honor of LarryBoy."

You know why? Because it's LarryBoy; and as a die-hard LarryBoy fan, I have to give you all my opinions on it!

By now, you've already read the title of this post. I'm serious on that part. There are some weird things about this episode of Veggietales In The House that we is either overlooked the first time, or just sticks in your mind in that first viewing. So here is my Top 10 Absurdities from "For The Honor of LarryBoy."

10. Motato's radishes are generic

As I pointed out in my Top 10 Overlooked Things from "For The Honor of LarryBoy," it's obvious that these radishes seem identical to the Angry Birds characters.

That's my theory, that the radishes may have been modeled from one of the best-selling apps. I mean, what do the radishes do? They make noise; they're thrown around; and they're easy for LarryBoy to tackle.

-I drew a resemblance right here.

9. I wonder what kind of comic book Larry is reading...

When we first see Larry the Cucumber at the beginning of the episode, he's reading from a comic book. If you look at the cover of the book, you see a superhero that looks like Larry but with a cape.

-Come to think of it, I'm grateful that the show didn't go with that costume design that was on the comic book. Otherwise, that would've pissed off LarryBoy fans.

Anyway, there's a moment where Larry's eyes bulge when he sticks his face into the comic book; this action is accompanied by a "Dong!" sound effect.

-Well, that was random...

-Plus, Larry seems too into the book, which warranted that "Dong!" sound. Just saying...

8. Archibald's creepy look

Like I've said before, this was a little awkward on Archibald's part. Plus, I should've thought to consider this moment...

An AWKWARD FACE MOMENT!

Well, since this is the same character that had me coin that term in Whatsoever Critic history, we'll call this moment...

AWKWARD FACE RECYCLING!

7. "Experts and scientists agree that LarryBoy is his only hope."

Really? You have to involve experts and scientists in a kidnapping that's as half-assed as this one?

Guys, it's just an old fart that was kidnapped by a wannabe-Tim-Curry villain!

I've mentioned this before in my review: What do experts and scientists have to do with a situation like this? It's not global warming or a natural disaster.

6. What was up with Bob's high note?

During the song "Calling LarryBoy," we have Archibald Asparagus and Bob the Tomato singing about why LarryBoy hasn't shown up to save the day yet, while also trying to persuade LarryBoy that even though he'll come across ungrateful jerks like Ichabeezer, he still has to save them.

Now that all makes sense, but what throws everything off is when Bob sings that high note in the lyric: "It is your higher calling." When you hear the word "calling," you'll definitely tell that he's singing a high note. That just offsets what the moral is in this story.

Then again, the high note might actually be funny, because it sounds like someone kicked Bob in the balls during that song. (I'm sorry. I'm laughing as I write this!)

5. Ichabeezer is wealthy?!

This stood out the first time I saw this episode. When LarryBoy reminds Ichabeezer about him being a target for a supervillain because of his wealth, I was shocked. And I know what you're thinking: Whatsoever Critic, how could you not know this?! Didn't you see the other nine episodes? Well, to answer that: I only saw the premiere episode and this episode. So, enough said.

But seriously, Ichabeezer is wealthy?! No wonder he's crabby!

4. Why the f*** would anyone want to be stuck inside their own chimney?!

In the opening scene when Ichabeezer runs amock on his segway, he eventually gets stuck inside his own chimney. As soon as he's stuck, it's like it's a good thing for him- it's like he wanted to be stuck inside his chimney forever to avoid social interaction.

-How stupid can this guy be?!

-You know whenever I hear of people getting stuck inside chimneys for periods of time, they usually end up in the hospital. I'm not saying that Ichabeezer has a death wish; he's just delusional.

3. LarryBoy's helmet doesn't always cover his face!!!

Now I know I've pointed this out in my review, but I'll bring it up again. There's a scene where Ichabeezer yells at LarryBoy about saving him from his chimney and to "get off his lawn." When we get a look at LarryBoy talking to Ichabeezer, you'll notice that the top part of LarryBoy's face is exposed.

-(sarcasm) Thanks, costume designers...
This just steps all over the idea that being a superhero is having a secret identity. It just wouldn't be a secret if you have your face exposed to the world.
-By now, people would already know who you are!

2. Motato's lair is a...

If you haven't guessed it yet, Motato's lair is a human bathroom.

Like I said before, I didn't realize the set-up until I saw this episode for a third time. It's self-explanatory, unless you read my Top 10 Overlooked Things for this episode.
And as if having a bathroom as a secret lair wasn't awkward enough, then this leads me to...

1. What did Motato just say?! (a.k.a.- Did I hear that right?!)
-Now, I'm not joking when I say that this scene, by far, is the most absurd of this entire episode. When you get to this scene, turn up the volume and listen to every single word that Motato says to his victim. No really! (sarcasm) You're about to hear the most diabolical threat a villain could ever give their victim!
Okay, Motato. What's your threat for Ichabeezer?

Motato: "Right! Give me the code to your safe, or I tie each of your nose hairs to the Super-Deluxe Man-Mover... And talk about one-by-one."
-Really? You couldn't come up with a more decent means of torture for your victim than that? I've heard more intimidating and more legitimate threats from a supervillain than this? Dr. Blowhole, please show this guy the way!
And another thing... NOSE HAIRS?! Really?! As if that would go into the Hall of Fame of Great Villain Quotes...
[fill in your own supervillain quotes here] and then compare it to Motato's quote, and tell me you would be scratching your head at this. In fact, his face says it all: I feel like he was getting too close to Ichabeezer... I don't know. That was just a thought.

But anyway, that was my Top 10 list of absurdities from "For the Honor of LarryBoy" from Veggietales In The House.

...Nose hairs? REALLY?!

Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Veggietales In The House
LarryBoy and the Yodelnapper (those two pics)

Courtesy: Big Idea/DreamWorks

Wait... FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 3 Is Out Already?!

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

There's been a lot of talk already about Five Nights at Freddy's 3. 

Word is that the PC version of this game is already out, and a lot of people are playing it in their Youtube videos. As for me, I'm waiting for the iOS version to come out, because I play the Five Nights at Freddy's series on my iPad. This means I won't watch any Let's Play videos of this game, until I play this game myself, because I want to have that true "jumpscare" experience this time. With the first two games, I watched the Let's Play videos prior to playing them myself, because I didn't know what to expect in those games. So this time, I will brave through FNaF 3 by not watching any of the videos until after I play the game myself. 

And I can't wait to meet the scary animatronic from the teaser trailer!

So wish me luck when the iOS version of the game comes out!

Whatsoever Critic

Source: Five Nights at Freddy's 3

Courtesy: Scott Cawthon

Editorial: What Was Up With LarryBoy Getting Beaten Up?

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

Ever since my Character Analysis of the Mother Weed monster from LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed,

I've been getting requests to give my opinion on something in particular: What do I think about LarryBoy getting beaten up by monsters like the Fib and the Mother Weed?

Well, let's put this into perspective here.

In LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed, there's a scene where LarryBoy is fighting the Mother Weed...
-...even though the actual fighting is kept off-screen...
...and LarryBoy is abruptly thrown to the wall, covered in bruises and a band-aid. The suckier part is that he doesn't technically save the day in the Rumor Weed video.
-So did LarryBoy just get beaten only to not have technically saved the day?
Why did the movie make that decision to have LarryBoy do all the dangerous work, while everyone else gets a pass on the "dangerous" stuff?

-Even though Alfred gets captured by the Mother Weed at one point,

before then, he's chilling in his computer chair giving LarryBoy instructions.
Now before I give you guys my theory, I'm going to show you another instance where LarryBoy was doing all the dangerous work. Case in point: LarryBoy and the Fib from Outer Space.

In LarryBoy and the Fib from Outer Space, as LarryBoy steps in to save Junior Asparagus from a giant alien monster simply known as the Fib, our hero gets captured himself, and the monster puts him in his mouth.

And it isn't long before Junior tells the truth that the monster spits out LarryBoy and shrinks away.
This would be marked as the first instance that LarryBoy was subjected to any kind of harm.

So looking back at both the Fib and Rumor Weed videos, why would LarryBoy suffer through both?

Well, I would like to propose a theory, which may or may not be Big Idea's intent, but here it goes:

You know how some superheroes like Spiderman and Superman would show off some "Jesus" symbolism in some of their movies?

It's like Hollywood is trying to glorify the "Jesus" symbolism, while having these superheroes kill people and engage in violent behaviors.
-Isn't trying to be like Jesus seem contradictory if you're displaying graphic content and violence? I'm pretty sure the real Jesus wasn't violent, but wanted to promote peace.
So where am I going with this? Well, remember my editorial "Why Did LarryBoy Save Dr. Flurry?" I wrote that editorial almost a year ago (March 2014). If you haven't read that editorial yet, the link is here:

WHY DID LARRYBOY SAVE DR. FLURRY?

http://ama-critic32.blogspot.com/2014/03/editorial-why-did-larryboy-save-dr.html

Anyway, in that editorial, I said that LarryBoy wasn't trying to be like Jesus with the obvious Jesus symbolism displayed in the Superman and Spiderman movies. LarryBoy only did what was right- not engaging in violence or wishing death on anyone, but saving people, even though the person he's saving is the one that did significant wrong to him. As such, LarryBoy is willing to risk his life to save another person, regardless of their character. And obviously, LarryBoy wouldn't kill anyone.

So why did LarryBoy get beaten up in his first two installments (the Fib and Rumor Weed videos)? Perhaps Big Idea wanted to show the audience that he didn't need to try too hard to be as great as any other superhero (Marvel or DC). It goes to show that LarryBoy puts his life on the line to ensure the safety of Bumblyburg, even if he gets hurts in the process.

Not that I'm saying that LarryBoy should get hurt more (Big Idea learned that lesson in LarryBoy and the Bad Apple), but what he's doing to ensure people's safety is a sacrifice that he makes more than once. To me, that's a true hero.

Now would this be the real intent of Big Idea? We don't know.

Again, I only gave a theory of why LarryBoy gets beaten in the first two installments. As for the real intent on Big Idea's part, we don't know what they were thinking when deciding to put LarryBoy in mortal danger. It's probably the writing. Who knows? But still, I think LarryBoy is one of the best heroes I know and love, because he doesn't try to sell himself as epic and full-blown awesome...
-...I hope he's not trying to sell himself as those things, now that Veggietales In The House gave him an extreme makeover...

Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed
LarryBoy and the Fib from Outer Space
Man of Steel
Spiderman 2
The League of Incredible Vegetables
Veggietales In The House

Courtesy: Big Idea/DreamWorks; Warner Bros.; Columbia Pictures/Marvel Enterprises.