"Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" Book Review

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

This past fall semester at school, my class was looking into literature that took place in the 1920s. One of the books we came across was Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Unlike some of the other books that I have reviewed on this blog, this book was made into a movie. Yep, the book was published in 1925, and then, in 1953, made it into a movie starring Marilyn Monroe. So what's it about?
Wait until you hear this: this is a story that's in the point of view of a self-admitted gold-digger woman named Lorelei. In her story, she describes her times of doing men wrong whenever she gets into relationships with them, only for her to have them spend money or give things to her. She keeps taking advantage of people throughout the entire story until she finally finds her place in life.
-No spoilers, I guess.

Now that you have a premise, what do I think? Well, it's not bad; I just hate its morals.

I really hate gold-digger people. I think they're selfish, and they don't care about anyone but themselves. And when I learned that this book was supposed to be humorous, I was shocked. I mean, who would want to laugh at a person taking advantage of another person, especially when it comes to their money?
-It's like saying: "Ha! Ha! She made that guy spend money on her! And the funniest is... she leaves him to pursue more wealthy men! Who cares, right? Ha! Ha!" It just won't seem right.
Another problem I had with this book is that the main character Lorelei doesn't learn much of anything. What does she learn at the end?
-(pause) Okay, only one spoiler...
When she gets married (not saying who), she's still taking advantage of people. You'd think she would give up her feeding-on-people ways as soon as she settles down with a man. But no, she continues to make him her "money" slave.
-It's also like skipping the "What Have We Learned Today..." segment in Veggietales completely. (Oh wait! They already did that in that Netflix series Veggietales In The House!)

However, if there's one thing I liked about this book was its consistency. The main character's narration (in diary entries) is witty and smart-ass-like.
-I guess that's where the comedy comes from? (I had to read the book more than once to get that.)
Plus, I can understand where Lorelei is coming from. I mean, the story was set in the 1920s, a time when materialism was the highlight of the period. People buying, spending, and partying like crazy... and among the chaos are women coming out in flashy apparel and bobbed hair to look and impress, especially seduce. And that's the thing about gold-diggers: they seduce.

Overall, the book was an easy-read, but don't expect anything rewarding at the end.
-Only the main character gets rewarded (Another spoiler, I think...).

Whatsoever Critic
Source: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Courtesy: Anita Loos/Boni and Liveright

Whatsoever Critic's Screw Ups of 2014

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

As 2014 is coming to a close, I want to set the record straight. I'm not perfect. I'll say things in this blog that would lead to slap-in-the-face results. However, understand that I have my opinions, which is why I'm bringing back balance by admitting the mistakes and screw-ups that may or HAD made on this blog before we reach 2015. So this is my Top 10 screw-ups.

10. Delays on embedding uploaded videos onto my blog

Besides having a blog, I also have a Youtube channel, where I upload videos and then embed them onto my blog. Most of the time, I won't embed videos until a day or two after they've been uploaded onto Youtube. Please understand that I am one person doing all of this, and that I try my best to get things out as soon as possible.

-I recently uploaded a video that I haven't embedded onto my blog yet (the "What I Would Say To LarryBoy" video). I'm still trying to get that out on my blog, but it's still available on Youtube, if you haven't seen the video.

9. I sometimes misspell Scott Cawthon's name.

Yeah, misspelling words and names is the usual pet peeve on this blog. I wish I can go back and fix all the spelling mistakes, but I always have time to fix some. So if you spot spelling mistakes, don't make a big fuss about it. Most people misspell.

This was common whenever I mention the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, where I talk about Scott Cawthon. I sometimes misspelled Cawthon. I'll try not to make that mistake again.

8. I was kind of hard on the octopus villain from the 2014 Penguins of Madagascar movie.

As much as I didn't like some of the payoffs in that movie, I really have nothing against the villain Dr. Octavius Brine (Dave), other than he's not Dr. Blowhole. I mean, Dr. Blowhole would've made a better villain, because he's more familiar than this guy. Just saying...

-This is coming from a Dr. Blowhole fan. No disrespect to DreamWorks, but seriously. Come on. Dr. Blowhole should've been in that movie.

That's what I believe in.

7. Am I REALLY going to re-review some movies that I've already reviewed?

I've looked back at the archives and saw my blog post entitled "Top 5 Reviews That I Would Like To Rethink." I thought about re-reviewing, but felt that the creativity wouldn't make a big of an impact as it did when I first reviewed the movie(s).

So, instead of re-reviewing the selected movies, I'm just going to write opinionated articles about them. It's kind of like Nostalgia Critic's "What You Never Knew About..." videos, but only my opinions and me pointing out things that people may have overlooked.

Plus, remember my "Coming Soon In 2014..." blog post? (If you haven't, check it out now.) I know I've promised reviews; however, since I'm a college student and is always busy in my writing, I was only able to review 4 out of the 10 movies that I mentioned on that blog posts.

But don't worry; the movies that I have promised you but haven't gotten out yet will come.

-I probably won't review A Nightmare on Elm Street after all, because I wasn't aware of it's original version (not the reboot), until recently, when I saw Cinema Snob's review on the original. But either way, reviews will still be coming out.

6. Bonnie is a unisex name

You may remember my rant in the Five Nights at Freddy's reviews on criticizing the character bunny's name. It turns out that I was right and wrong. But let's start with the wrong first. I was wrong in the following way:

-I recently looked up the name Bonnie on the Internet, and found out that it was both a girl's name and a boy's.

However...

I was right in some way. I was right in criticizing the name choice, because I also learned on the Internet that the name was outdated, and was rare in giving to a person.

-I agree that the name is outdated... for a guy. I mean, one would find it very rare to find a guy that had a name like Bonnie.

Anyway, Scott Cawthon can name his characters anything he wants. That's what's creative of storytelling and video games.

5. There are 10 animatronic characters, NOT 7 (Five Nights at Freddy's 2)

I remember saying in my Five Nights at Freddy's 2 reviews saying that there were 7 animatronics coming to get the player. I never thought of the other 3 characters, which were the older models of Freddy, Bonnie, and Chica. After seeing other people play this game on Youtube, I started to see the truth of how many animatronics there were in the game. But those reviews were written when I first started playing the game.

-So, there were more animatronics than I thought there were... Miscounted? I guess...

4. Was my Nitpicking segment a mistake?

I know I've experienced backlash from this segment in the past.

-I deleted those comments, due to the courtesy of other readers.

However, I am entitled to my opinion until the end of time. I believe it. However, I'll try not to upset some of you. New year, new outlook.

3. I was hard on Junior Aspargus.

How? In my review and editorial of The League of Incredible Vegetables, I criticized heavily on the character Junior Asparagus, because he ultimately saved the day in that movie, when it should've been LarryBoy to begin with.

What that movie did was have LarryBoy take a backseat, while they built up a kid that's evidently caused trouble in the previous LarryBoy adventures (ex. Fib from Outer Space and Rumor Weed). 

-I mean, is that who you would want to save the day?

A boy hero that gets a pass on lying and telling dangerous rumors?

I also felt that way about the decision to make Junior a superhero, because I was already used to LarryBoy; I already had my heart set on LarryBoy- nothing was going to change about that.

I don't see Junior as superhero material; otherwise, just call him discount-LarryBoy, because it won't work out for me; I'm sorry.

I don't want to be too hard on Junior Asparagus, but realize what they did to LarryBoy in that movie. Was it worth it?

2. Did my WORST Christmas Specials list upset some of you?

I had to come out on Christmas specials, because it's a constant argument around the holidays when it comes to specials. If you think Hallmark Channel's spewing out Christmas movies a millisecond every year is bad, then the specials that I had topped off as "worst" is the big parade for it.

I wasn't BS-ing when I said that I didn't like a special. It's my opinion. I'm pretty sure that some of you were agreeing or disagreeing; we're all entitled to our own opinions. That's just the way it is.

1. Predicting Will Roth over Jesse Kinch (ABC's Rising Star)

The biggest backlash that I've ever received in Whatsoever Critic history is during my reviews of Season One of Rising Star. I was doing predictions on who would go on to next round. I wanted the predictions to be for fun, not to say "You're wrong" or "You don't know what you're talking about."

Nonetheless, I had received an angry comment from an annoymous commentator, saying that I was wrong about Jesse Kinch, because he was in competition with another contestant (Will Roth),

and I was leaning more towards Roth on who would move on in the challenge.

To be brutally honest, I thought both singers were great. In fact, this was one of the predictions that I had a hard time choosing in. There were times that I had to flip a coin to just make a decision. But please also understand that I like variety. Today is about variety. Just look at Taylor Swift; she went from country to pop within a few years, and many people still like her. That's variety.

Anyway, what's done is done. The post is already published, so it wouldn't make any sense to change it, because they were predictions. And besides, Jesse Kinch ended up winning the competition, so that's good news for whoever said I was wrong.

But I ask of you: please forgive and forget.

And that was my Top 10 Screw-Ups. Hopefully in 2015, there will be more reviews and editorials to come!

Whatsoever Critic

Sources:
Penguins of Madagascar (2014 movie)
Five Nights at Freddy's
Five Nights at Freddy's 2
The League of Incredible Vegetables
LarryBoy and the Fib from Outer Space
LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed
Rising Star (ABC)

Courtesy: DreamWorks Animation; Scott Cawthon; Big Idea/DreamWorks; and American Broadcasting Company/Keshet Broadcasting

WC's Christmas PART 4: Movies That'll Trick You Into Thinking That They're Christmas Movies!

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

Welcome to Part 4 of Whatsoever Critic's Christmas! Today I'm going to give you something that I like to call: Movies That'll Trick You Thinking That They're Christmas Movies. What that means is that I found some movies that throw in things that'll remind you of Christmas, but then you realize that they have nothing to do with Christmas; otherwise, the stories would've been written different. For this one, I don't think a countdown list is necessary. So, I'm just going to talk about them on a scale of importance.

I'm going to talk about 5 movies for this one.

Happy Feet

I'm not a huge fan of this one. I mean, sure, it's about penguins, a misfit penguin, and him ultimately saving his community...

-Wait. Is this another Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer scenario? Puh-lease! I've already talked about that special! Besides, I'm tempted to do a review on that special, if Nostalgia Critic isn't considering. I mean, he's already reviewed Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. (So that's the least of my problems.)

Plus, I heard that this movie spawned a sequel, but no one's ever talked about it.

I guess people can be fooled by its use of the Antarctic and snow... and the fact that it may be a spit-in-the-face render in another penguin movie, which I will bring up later on in this blog post.

Toy Story

I'm not a big fan of this franchise either...

-Just saying...

What'll fool people into believing that this one's a Christmas movie is the ending scene, where the toys are listening to what their owner Andy is unwrapping for Christmas. 

Yeah, the snow outside the house, as well as the Christmas tree will have people thinking about the holidays, no matter what time of the year it is. In fact, this franchise is popular around the holidays, because it's played over and over on channels like Disney and ABC Family.

-By the way, is it weird to say that this movie franchise has gone overboard with its sequels. It's like The Land Before Time of Disney!

The Pebble and the Penguin

-Since I've already done a review on this movie, I won't dwell into it for long.

Let's face it... this movie features snow and the Antarctic in general.

-In fact, this was kind of (sort of) parodied in the recent Penguins of Madagascar (2014) movie... Just saying.

The reason this movie isn't much of a Christmas movie is because it was intended to be a love story...

-...despite its underwritten shortcomings and one-dimensional characterization on most of the characters except for the hero.

Plus, the characters' attire is mainly clothes that one would wear when it's cold. 

-Obviously, because they're in the Antarctic...

Also, at the end of the movie, the main characters (excluding the villain, because... well, not to give anything away here- let's just say he took a hard hit) are wearing Santa hats.

So, no.

Frozen

Yep, almost everyone knows this movie. Ever since its theatrical release last holiday season, this Disney movie has been a phenomenon that it's already a classic to the Disney canon. Its all over social media; it's popular in stores... and it may have outdid Pixar in some ways.

However, (no disrespect to this movie, but...) just because the movie depicts snow and features a person with magical winter abilities 

and a talking snowman, 

AND was released in theaters during the holiday season, doesn't make this movie a legitimate Christmas. For one, not once do you hear the word "Christmas" or see Christmas decorations (the snow flakes don't count). And plus, if this movie is seen all year round, that's another sign that this movie isn't a Christmas movie.

-I mean, who sees the Frosty the Snowman special during the summer? And would you see the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special on Easter? It just won't seem right.

Anyway, I have pretty much nothing against this movie, other than to say: Don't be confused on its intentions. Just enjoy the movie.

The League of Incredible Vegetables

Now I know what you're thinking: Whatsoever Critic, why would you mention this LarryBoy adventure? What's that movie got to do with not being Christmas?!

First of all, look at this movie and tell me that it's not what you were expecting in a LarryBoy movie. What on earth is this? It's not like LarryBoy and the Bad Apple where there were these cool tall-building scenic backdrops. Just snow and winter attire... 

not to mention a scene with hot chocolate and cookies.

And just like The Pebble and the Penguin, I already did a review on this movie, so I won't go any further.

And that concludes Whatsoever Critic's Christmas. I hoped y'all enjoyed it. I apologize if Part 1 or any of the parts weren't to your liking. This is all opinion-based.

Merry Christmas! : )

Whatsoever Critic

Sources:

Happy Feet

Toy Story

The Pebble and the Penguin

Frozen

The League of Incredible Vegetables

Courtesy: Warner Bros., Disney/Pixar, Don Bluth, Disney, and Big Idea.

WC's Christmas PART 3: Top 5 INDIFFERENT Christmas Specials!!!

Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.

Welcome to Part 3 of Whatsoever Critic's Christmas.

I've already listed the bad specials, and I've already listed the good. So, today I'm going to list... the specials I feel INDIFFERENT about. So, pull up a chair and get ready for my Top 10 Christmas Specials that I felt INDIFFERENT to.

5. Annabelle's Wish

I saw this special when I was little. We had this on VHS or something like that.

It follows a young cow that dreams of being like one of Santa's reindeer- she wants to fly, that is. She also befriends a boy named Billy that can't speak because of a family tragedy. Eventually, she helps Billy find his voice; and ultimately she gets rewarded with her wish.

-I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say that she gets rewarded.

I liked how Randy Travis had a lot to do with this movie. He was the narrator, one of the characters, and he sings some of the songs.

-Who does love Randy Travis songs?

For the movie itself, I was indifferent because it was original, although it was reported that it took up to 14 people to write this movie.

-This movie was apparently based on a short story by Dan Henderson. So why all the writers?

Plus, I felt that some of the content felt forced. I realize that it was trying to show emotion, but sometimes it's best to not have too much of it. Other than that, it succeeded in teaching the moral that Christmas should be more about giving than just receiving.

4. The Polar Express

Based on the book of the same book, The Polar Express was pretty impressive to watch. The animation was amazing. The acting was done well.

-Tom Hanks was pretty awesome. He played, I think, three different characters: the train conductor, the strange guy on the train top (who's apparently a ghost?), and Santa himself.

The reason why I was indifferent on this one is because I felt that it was really long. 

-I mean, what's the running time for this movie? (researching... 1 hour 40 minutes) I still felt it was long.

Plus, I couldn't help but get teary-eyed throughout most of this film, because the movie's message is crystal-clear: don't let the magic of Christmas die because you grew up. 

-And yes. I'm one of those people that tends to get emotional while watching movies like this.

3. Veggietales: Saint Nicholas- A Story of Joyful Giving

I was tempted to put this one on my list of the BEST Christmas specials, but instead, I put it in this list. Why? Well... I'll give you a walkthrough.

The special follows the Veggies gang trying to brighten the spirits of Laura Carrot who's father is struggling to keep his job after his delivery car breaks down, and a crabby mechanic won't have it fixed until after Christmas... when the father pays up.

Seeing this predicament, Bob and Larry gather the kids and tell them the story of how a guy named Nicholas became Santa Claus by giving to the needy. And...

-... I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say this...

...the Veggies gang come together to pay off the repairs for Laura's father's car, and Laura and her father are grateful.

I was indifferent on this one, because it felt like a Christian version of Rankin/Bass's Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, except there's no Fred Astaire and no Burgermeister Meisterburger, but Bob and Larry narrating, as well as a villain that one can point out and say, "Oh, that reminds of Burgermeister..." or "Oh, discount Burgermeister."

Anyway, this special was an "okay" special.

2. Veggietales: The Toy That Saved Christmas

Now I know that last year I did a review on this video and already gave my concensus on it. However, I can't help but be indifferent on this one.

-I think I felt that way in the review. I don't remember. If you haven't read that review yet, check it out.

I don't know; I just felt that it deserved the INDIFFERENT treatment.

1. The Little Drummer Boy and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (Rankin/Bass)

I decided to put both of these specials in the number one spot on this list, because...

-Well, not because they're both from the production company...

...but because both specials spoke to me. Were they good messages to me? Were they good lessons for me? Um... let's start with The Little Drummer Boy.

That one's about a boy forced into servitude for a con man, made to perform for hundreds of people after his parents die in a fire. He grows to hate grown-ups, because he felt that grown-ups were responsible for putting him into servitude. But when he comes across three wise men that are visiting the baby Jesus in the Nativity scene, the boy learns to let go of his emotions and famously play his drum for the Lord.

Coming back to that special as an adult, I couldn't help but emotional with this one, although I wasn't like that as a kid. The reason why that is, is because I understand the message that it's trying to tell: forgive and forget the wrong that people have done to you. I find it hard to forgive sometimes, but I'm still learning.

Moving on...

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer... the story is basic: a misfit is made fun of; he runs away from home to find acceptance; he meets other characters that share his pain; he's called upon to save Christmas; he eventually saves Christmas; and he's finally accepted.

-Simple, right?

I was as indifferent as I was with The Little Drummer Boy, because it spoke to me. Growing up, I was avoiding this special, because it felt awkward: the scenario, the characters, and the quality. But after revisiting this special as an adult, I decided to give this one another try if it comes on on TV, because again... it spoke to me. Why? Because I felt the same pain as Rudolph did. We were both bullied when we were kids. We were both looking for acceptance among our peers and family. It was THAT relatable.

Overall, both specials felt indifferent, because they spoke to me in different ways to where it made sense to me.

And that's my INDIFFERENT list of Christmas specials. Stay tuned for more Whatsoever Critic's Christmas! The fun isn't over yet!

Whatsoever Critic

Sources:

Annabelle's Wish

The Polar Express

Veggietales

The Little Drummer Boy

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer

Courtesy: Ralph Edwards Productions/Hallmark Entertainment; Warner Bros.; Big Idea; and Rankin/Bass.