Saturday, October 26, 2013

"LarryBoy in the Good, the Bad, and the Eggly" Movie Review

Hi, I'm the Amateur Critic. I review just about anything.

Now that we're near the end of reviewing all the LarryBoy Cartoon Adventures in Big Idea history, I'd thought I'd ask you all a question: Have you ever wanted to see both Awful Alvin and Greta von Gruesome in an episode together? No! Nobody does! But what are we to do?
         Since 2000, LarryBoy has been 2-D animated because... well, you know, Big Idea wanted to try something different. With the 2-D animated series came an illustrated chapter book series based on the video series under the same name. The stories are well-developed, but I just remember that some of them were weird & childish.
        Also, whether you like it or not, you'll come across good guy & bad guy clichés that are never strangers to both the book & video series. As reviewed previously, the video series were adaptations of only 2 of the books. The final example of this would be the half-assed & dumbass-humored LarryBoy in the Good, the Bad, and the Eggly.

         Based on a book of the same name, this movie shows how 2 people can solve problems by using teamwork. But what really got on my nerves was that Big Idea somehow lost some of its ability to not upset kid audiences. There's bickering & threatening, & characters are sometimes delusional. Rule of thumb: don't let kids see adult content, which includes arguing, because that sets bad examples for kids. Now speaking of a movie adaptation from a book...

...like the LarryBoy and the Yodelnapper, episode, I'll compare this movie with the book.

Opening Scene:
        Like the book, we start with LarryBoy on night patrol in his LarryPlane.

He tells Archie that he wants to ask Daily Bumble photographer Vicki out to the Founder's Day celebration, but is afraid to ask her. Suddenly, bacon comes flying at LarryBoy.

LarryBoy panics. He sees that the missing pigs from the old fairytales are out to get him.
-Good lord, these pigs are so cliched. Even one of the pigs is wearing an eye patch (the one-eyed terror, whoopee (sarcasm)...)
-In the book, the pigs were said to be stolen from a neighboring town, & turned into evil minions. In the movie, they don't specify where the pigs came from or what they are.
        While LarryBoy is too busy panicking from the attack...
-Archie tells him to eject from the plane. (The book made this scene sound more chaotic than this.)
-What I find weird is that Archie is just watching LarryBoy panic. (LarryBoy: Oh s***! Aw, f***! I'm gonna crash! I'm gonna die! F***! Holy s***!)
(Archie: He's panicking. What am I supposed to do here? I'm confused.)

Villain Scene:
        The scene now cuts to our main antagonists: Awful Alvin (the crazy one), Greta von Gruesome (the greedy one), & the third one Lampy the Lamp who is... well, the third one.

The 2 bad guys (excluding Lampy) have a short argument about who's plan it was to distract LarryBoy while they break into some laboratory.
-While having this conversation, Alvin focuses on... dancing. (Good lord, if the Angry Eyebrows episode wasn't bad enough...!)
-Greta: "I gave up telemarketing for this?" (That's a good question. But I got a question too: I put off reviewing LarryBoy and the Bad Apple to review this?)

Flight scene (cont'd.)
        Now LarryBoy plans to stop the whole plane with his plunger ears by opening the cockpit door, although Archie tells him not to.
-This is a bit weird because just a moment ago Archie was telling him to eject from the plane to flee from the evil pigs.
-The movie totally skipped a part from the book. The book stated that the pigs tried to attack the Daily Bumble, & LarryBoy swoops in & takes their blows, which brings him to crash-land at the Bumblyburg Park. Here, they just skips that part completely. (I guess this movie was on a budget or something.)
        Out of nowhere, another superhero shows up at the park & ends the fiasco with the pigs by using his gadgets & gizmos. This is Dark Crow (a guy with a Mexican accent, even Mexican plays when he's around).

-Great! A wanna-be Batman flies in & saves LarryBoy. Neat!
        The 2 heroes find out that the pigs were used to distract them from Alvin & Greta's break-in at Bumblyburg's laboratory.
-Well, this was found out by Dark Crow, when Archie screams this in LarryBoy's ear for whatever reason. Wow, movie, you really got me there.
        LarryBoy wants to help, but Dark Crow doesn't let him. (What a jerk!)

Laboratory scene:
        Meanwhile in the laboratory, Alvin & Greta tie up the scientists

& try to break into the vault with a device called "The Lampy Laser."

        Dark Crow drops by & tries to stop them; however, LarryBoy shows up & absent-mindedly gives the bad guys an advantage.
-Why? LarryBoy just HAD to plug the Lampy Laser back in... ALL BECAUSE IT WAS CONSIDERED A HAZARD?! Larry, you should've checked the plug to see what it's attached to before plugging it in!

LarryBoy: Hey! There's a plug that's on the floor. Someone might trip on it... What's that? It powers the bad guy's device? Oh well, I'm disconnecting it. No way I'm letting the bad guys do their misdeeds. Nope!
        The bad guys eventually break into a vault & steal another machine, but not without the heroes landing into scientific goo that... I think that's stolen slime from Nickelodeon.
-Plus, Awful Alvin has another dance fetish, but Greta grabs him, & they escape. (Dang! Him talking about dancing made him have this crazy look in his eyes. What, was he high?!)

Laboratory Incident Aftermath:
        The heroes rescue the scientists, and they learn that the bad guys stole a machine that can turn inanimate objects into over-easy eggs.

-LarryBoy becomes the annoying best friend stereotype in this scene, because he's asking a gazillion questions concerning what's inanimate & what wasn't. Even Dark Crow & the scientists were annoyed by this. (It's like dealing with a 5-year-old!)

Superhero class:
         The next night, during Superhero class... well, I'll cut to the chase here...

        Bok Choy is trying to teach that teamwork is much better than a person doing something on their own. But LarryBoy & Dark Crow are too busy trying to outwit each other with dumbass humor.
-This classroom scene reminds me of Tom & Jerry, but w/o the violence that's, for no apparent reason, supposed to be funny.

-So most of the audience at home or somewhere can go restock on snacks or talk to each other while this is going on because,... well, let's just say that the next couple of minutes is gonna be nothing but this. (We might as well have a semi-intermission: you know, Bok Choy can share his lesson, & then cut to intermission. Simple as that!)

Museum scene:
-By the way, this movie also skipped the part from the book where Larry is working; he comes across Vicki the photographer who's flirting at a picture of Dark Crow; and then he gets a call from Archie from his mop phone... whatever, saying that the museum is going to be ransacked. But hey, this movie doesn't care! They only want ratings...
        The next day, the insane member of the "clichéd bad guy society" & the "most well-kept" bad guy show up at a museum to steal artifacts.
-Before we move forward, I just want to say that Greta von Gruesome, although she is shown to be super greedy...

...she's like the only decent bad guy in this series. Unlike the psychopathic style of Awful Alvin...

...she's just dead-serious about her role as a villain.
        Anyways, Vicki, cub reporter Junior Asparagus, & the gruff newspaper editor stereotype Bob the Tomato get caught in the crosshairs as Awful Alvin... with yet ANOTHER creepy look in his eyes... ties up the three.

-How much crazier does this bad guy get?!
Somehow, Dark Crow pops out of one of the mummy exhibits, & he & Greta duke it out for a while.

         The fight then comes to a halt when LarryBoy somehow manages to defy the laws of physics to get into the museum in his LarryMobile. This somehow gives Greta the upper-hand, & she beats Dark Crow.
-Now let's say next, Vicki, Bob, & Junior coincidentally get untied...
-...and Vicki coincidentally falls into LarryBoy's arms (which, by the way, he doesn't have arms) 
        Now is the perfect time to ask about Founder's Day? You be the judge!

 -LarryBoy hesitates & then asks a totally different question to Vicki. (Sheesh! LarryBoy doesn't know how to talk to girls. In the book, he gets to spend more time with Vicki... but here, no matter what scene they have together, it's like "hurry up, get together,& then leave." What kind of love relationship is that?!)
-Dark Crow interrupts LarryBoy, & Larry gets upset. That's when the 2 start their bickering again. (By now, they should've set their differences aside & focus on bringing down the bad guys!)
        The bad guys gain the upper-hand by zapping the heroes super suits into heaps of all-you-can-eat eggs.

And, to make matters worse (in one of the most cliché ways possible in villain history), the bad guys kidnap Vicki.

Museum Incident Aftermath:
        After the villains escape with their hostage, LarryBoy and Dark Crow dress themselves in kid pajamas, which are supposed to be superhero costumes (?), and they return to the laboratory where the bad guys had stolen from earlier.

 -Sure, even lab scientists can recognize these superheroes in their alternatives to super wear. Just how lenient are these people?!
Ex.
Superhero: I'm here to learn about the intentions of a villain that's out to kill people.
Scientist: But, sir. You look a little... How should I put it?
Superhero: Oh, my outfit. You see, my super suit got damaged not too long ago, and all I had was some kid's pajamas. It's a long story how my suit got ruined...
Scientist: But still, you look really suspicious. I don't think you look like [Superhero name] at all.
Superhero: Uh... I'll give you candy.
Scientist: Okay, we'll let you into our facility, [Superhero name]. Sorry for the delay.
-Besides, what's with all the aftermaths? What, are these the most unlucky heroes in history? Okay, not LarryBoy- but Dark Crow. He's like the bad seed of this movie. Why did we have to put Dark Crow in this movie? Maybe the creators just wanted to add him to get more ratings.
        So, the scientists show the heroes their Bunny Bot, which serves as a defense against the device that the bad guys have.
-Okay. This is what you're telling us about scientists everywhere: that they are girly.

YOU are making our scientists, and other scientists in the world, look like half-assed people!
        The heroes, however, fight over who gets to drive the damn thing, resulting in an embarrassing exit.


Town scene:
        We see Awful Alvin and Greta von Gruesome attack Bumblyburg with their egg machine. Finally, the villains see our heroes try to stop them with their Bunny Bot.

        Do the heroes bring justice? No. They take this time to argue with each other some more, which gives the villains an obvious advantage. The villains zap the Daily Bumble Sign above the Bunny Bot, sending the whole thing down on our heroes.
-So much bickering! You know, I thought this movie was going to be great, because LarryBoy is partnering up with another superhero, but now... it just blows! It's like Batman being bitter towards Spiderman, or the Green Lantern arguing with Daredevil... It just blows!

Villains' Lair Scene:
        We then cut to the obvious set of Awful Alvin's lair (which you may or may not be remember from Angry Eyebrows), where our two heroes and that chick from the Daily Bumble are tied up and hanging above a skillet.

        The villains plan on frying the threesome into an omelet. All the villains have to do is press a button to send the trio into a... frying pan alternative to an inferno.

But, as you as imagine, the villains argue with each other on who gets to push the button.

-Guys, why not take both of your hands together and press the button together?
        The heroes see the villains argue, and then they remember their teacher's lesson...

-Okay, wait. How is it that a person can remember a lesson from school when they've spent the whole time jacking off in class? It's like sleeping away in church, and then magically remembering what the preacher was talking about...
-I'm sorry, but this is like a running gag in this cartoon series! They're improbable and silly.
        The heroes decide to swing back & forth to knock down the egg ray or whatever's trapping them.

-What I don't get is that while they're swinging back and forth, the heroes are both smiling as if life is good. How can you be smiling when you're so close to having a brush with death?
        Eventually, the two heroes, along with Vicki, escape, and they have an epic battle with Awful Alvin and Greta.
-Uh, feel free to run for safety, Vicki...

        Eventually, the two villains are defeated with LarryBoy and Dark Crow working together.
-But I gotta say that the villains get defeated by the lamest things.
1. Awful Alvin gets tangled up by cords from Dark Crow's attack.
2. LarryBoy literally closes the door on Greta with his made-shift plunger ear.
Yeah, pretty weak!

Laboratory scene 3:
        Our heroes return the egg machine to the scientists...

-About friggin' time LarryBoy and Dark Crow are in their respective super suits...
        LarryBoy finally asks Vicki out to the Founder's Day celebration. Then the story ends with Dark Crow wanting to be LarryBoy's wingman on the outing.

-And that's just it. The story just ends.

It's like the movie saying, That was it, kids. But hey, we still have our short film for you, which... you may or may not like... At least, we distracted you from your daily playing and stuff... You can stay for our short film, otherwise... just press the STOP button on your VCR.

Short film:
        (I don't think so...)

        I'm sorry, but this movie was so weird, that... I can't even bring myself to review the short film that it shows!
        Well, that was the final episode of the LarryBoy Cartoon Adventures.
         LarryBoy in the Good, the Bad, and the Eggly. You know, the next LarryBoy movie, The Bad Apple, will have more dignity than these silly cartoon episodes! The plot made little to no sense; the episode didn't seem like a legit LarryBoy story; and the characters are either morons or just psychotic!
        Just pray to God that The Bad Apple is going to be the comeback of LarryBoy, because with the cartoon series, he's been shamefully misused. He's been through hell, now that we reviewed all 4 LarryBoy Cartoon Adventures episodes.

Amateur Critic
Source: LarryBoy in the Good, the Bad, and the Eggly
All rights go to Big Idea Entertainment

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