Hi, I'm the Amateur Critic. I review just all anything.
This is my second review for this blog thus far. I'm very proud to be doing something that involves my opinions and stuff. Anyway, let's get started.
Remember Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge? It introduced Dr. Blowhole, played by Neil
Patrick Harris. Now is his second appearance better or worse? On 9/9/11, Nickelodeon
aired the 1-hour Penguins of Madagascar
movie The Return of the Revenge of Dr.
Blowhole, or as Nickelodeon dubs: Blowhole
Strikes Back. (Why does Nickelodeon keep dubbing like that?)
For
me, this movie was epic. I liked the 2 lead characters. Alex the lion from the Madagascar movies made an appearance. (Cool!)
Plus, Neil Patrick Harris sings in this special.
But
I questioned some parts (ex. major plot holes; I’ll count them). The musical
began in the 2nd act. (I thought the
whole movie was a musical.) Dr. Blowhole is a clichéd villain, as usual.
So
how does this TV movie begin?
Opening scene:
Wow.
We’re starting off The Return of the
Revenge of Dr. Blowhole in Shanghai?
-Hi, how did we end up here?
Weren’t the Penguins just in Hoboken in the show’s previous episode "The Hoboken Surprise"?
We find out that
Skipper is on a solo mission to investigate something in Shanghai.
-This is starting to look like a
James Bond movie. If that's the case, Daniel Craig should've been in this special, right?
But
Hans, Skipper’s foe from Hoboken, pops up, & they fight. Hans then corners
Skipper on a pier & tells him exactly how he escaped Hoboken: someone they
knew helped him.
-Plot hole #1: How did that person
help you escape? Did they let you out through a back door in Hoboken? Did they
have a magic wand or something? How did
it happen?
Then the pier
comes apart by a giant beach ball.
-Looks like the trailer teaser of
the 1998 film Godzilla.
But
it’s not Godzilla coming to get Skipper; it’s Dr. Blowhole… a photogenic bad guy?
-Since Neil Patrick Harris is from How I Met Your Mother, can we get applause
in this scene?
Dr.
Blowhole: “Peng-you-in!”
Skipper:
“Blowhole?!”
(Audience applauds and cheers)
Dr.
Blowhole: “Was that an entrance or what? Not that you’ll remember it…” And by that, I’m stealing your memories,
making this the focal point of the movie.
Blowhole
steals Skipper’s memories, & Skipper’s given the slip & falls into the
ocean.
-The “memories” are in forms of
people that Skipper knows. Is Blowhole’s stealing his soul instead of his
memories?
-Blowhole tries to kill Skipper?!
Did I see that right? Who wrote this episode?
(researching) Bob Schooley &
Mark McCorkle: the guys that brought you the episodes Popcorn Panic, Haunted
Habitat, Crown Fools, Eclipsed, & Jiggles. But in those, killing wasn’t involved; it was just rough
play & fooling around. I guess this movie didn’t have those distinctions.
Central Park Zoo:
The
Penguins test a high-tech battery (I guess). They assume that Skipper’s okay, when in actually, he’s on a remote
island, wondering where he is & who he is.
In
a giant beach ball/submarine, Blowhole celebrates, using the word “crumble.” He
asks what can crumble. They say “newspaper”; but he wasn’t impressed. They
suggest “sports section.”
-You know, cookies crumble faster than
paper. But the sports section joke was too tempting.
Dr.
Blowhole mentions the use of his Mind-Jacker, which pops up out of nowhere on his Segway.
-Ladies and gentlemen, our running
gag of the movie. No kidding...
With
Skipper’s memories, Blowhole plans to attack Team Penguin. Just then, Hans asks:
“Do you have Wi-Fi in this place?” Blowhole gets mad, making the Mind-Jacker
pop up again.
-This is Hans’ last scene in the
movie: ((Plot hole #2.) Does Blowhole give him a ride home?)
Lemur Habitat (a.k.a, the retired
party house):
King
Julien is listening to an iPod from the Lost & Found, until the battery
dies on him.
-1-minute scene that’s nothing but
Julien’s rant over how his iPod died on him. (Bathroom break, anyone?)
Island Scene:
Skipper
has 2 hallucinations of people that he, I guess, knew in his past.
-I’ve seen Rockgut on the show
before, but the snow monkey…? ((Plot hole #3.) What’s with the monkey, besides
being Skipper’s spiritual guru? Will we see him later?)
After
some short but long-winded speeches, the 2 hallucinations leave Skipper… as
confused as ever. (But he now knows his name. That’s a good start, I guess.)
An
alert rings, & a lobster stupidly checks his cell phone. Blowhole gets mad
at him for supposedly not putting the
phone on vibrate.
-Dr. Blowhole: “What part of put
your phones on vibrate do you not understand?!” It’s not like I can just ask
if anyone’s phone is ringing.
An
alert confirms that Skipper isn’t dead. Blowhole’s Mind-Jacker pops up yet
again.
-Pray to God he laughed at that gag,
because this movie does this 5 times! 3 down, 2 to go!
Skipper
gets a hallucination in the form of Alex the lion, played by Wally Wingert.
-I guess Ben Stiller was too busy
to reprise his role.
-Who’s Wally Wingert?
(researching)
Oh! He played Jon Arbuckle in The Garfield
Show. Neat.
-(Audience applauds and cheers as
soon as Alex appears.)
Alex
tells Skipper who he is, & makes him applaud to his “greatness.” (How
conceded.)
Now
aware of Skipper’s status, Blowhole sends a missile.
Skipper sees this &
must relearn Alex’s [dance moves?] to escape. He outwits the missile. Blowhole
doesn’t see this, because he just assumes
that Skipper’s dead. One lobster cocks an attitude. Blowhole straightens him
out.
-There’s a Red Lobster dinner special on the menu with your name on it,
if you don’t cut it out.
Blowhole
gives a short speech to inspire his workforce, & listen: “We can do
anything!”
-Isn’t that phrase 1 of the missing
Kim Possible theme song lyrics (minus
the fearing-the-wrath-of-Blowhole part)? And speaking of Kim Possible, check this out:
1. Dr. Blowhole talks about doing the impossible.
2. Dr. Blowhole saying, “We can do
anything.”
3. John DiMaggio voicing Rico (he
also voiced the bad guy Dr. Dracken from Kim
Possible).
4. Nicole Sullivan voicing Marlene the
otter (she also voiced Shego from Kim
Possible).
Is this a Kim Possible reunion? I thought this movie special was supposed to
be taken seriously!
Skipper
doesn’t believe what Alex tells him. But Alex gets him to get off the island.
Secret lair scene 3: (Wow. This
movie is jumpy.)
Blowhole
plans to turn the Penguins into monsters. He tests his Diaboligizer on a bunny.
The bunny harms a co-worker, but Blowhole’s too busy laughing & scheming to
care. (Jerk.)
-The Mind-Jacker pops up again. We’re still rendering in on this gag! Ha ha
ha ha ha ha!
Zoo gift shop:
Julien
looks for a new battery for his iPod. (Guess how many computers crashed to give you this
scene.)
Ocean scene:
Skipper
refuses to listen to Alex; but the thought of snow cones helps him recall NYC.
Kowalski
refuses to help Julien, because IDK, Julien’s annoying.
-Yeah, if I was confronted by an
annoying person, I’d do the same.
Getting back home:
Skipper
tries to tolerate Alex’s annoying behavior. They make it to NYC… just in time
for Blowhole to arrive on the other side of town.
-I guess they’re spoofing Awful
Alvin’s opening scene from LarryBoy and
the Angry Eyebrows.
-Dr. Blowhole: “I’m coming for you,
peng-you-ins. And I have a surprise.”
(mimicking Dr. Blowhole) I
wanna make sure that the audience is looking right at me as I say this.
Beginning of Act 2:
After
the creepy, obnoxious scene of Blowhole closing in, he announces…
-Dr. Blowhole: “And now, part two…
of my plan!” (Dude, you just broke 4th wall. Refer to the DVD for this.)
-(Plot hole #4: Your minions seem
to not know about the plan. Didn’t you send them a memo?)
He
plans to go down to NYC. He presses a button to get his car, but gets his
Mind-Jacker.
-Let’s use this joke one more time! Aww, come on! It’s not like I’m
wasting time here.
Blowhole
presses the right button, and this time he gets… a clown car?
-It’s a rolling beach ball vehicle;
but if he’s cramped inside, then it definitely qualifies as a clown car.
New York streets scene:
We
then see Blowhole driving recklessly downtown, cutting off busses & taxis.
-How come no human/driver sees him?
Are they too lenient?
(Example: (NYPD
pulls him over.))
COP:
Is there a reason why you’re speeding, and why you’re heading to the zoo at
closing time, sir?
BLOWHOLE:
Oh, sorry. I was invited by the zoo owners to go to their private party. They
met me at last week’s zoo convention.
COP:
Now this all really sounds
suspicious. I don’t remember a zoo convention in town.
BLOWHOLE:
Does a talking dolphin with a cyborg eye ever strike you as suspicious?
COP:
Not really. I think dolphins are cute.
BLOWHOLE:
Good. Can I have my speeding ticket now? I have a duet with an old rival... I mean, friend, in a few minutes. We got back together recently.
COP:
That’s okay, I’ll let you off with a warning.
BLOWHOLE:
Thanks, officer. I’ll spare your life when I take over NYC.
On the other side of town:
Blowhole
isn’t the only one that gets away with not being seen by humans, because
Skipper’s on his way to the zoo, but he’s having trouble escaping Alex. (Okay,
next!)
Blowhole’s pursuit (cont’d.):
We
now see Blowhole closing in on the Penguins’ HQ.
-Can he drive any more recklessly? Can his car get any more cramped? Can he get any
closer to the camera as he’s examining his GPS?
Penguin HQ scene 2:
Julien
& Mort sneak into Penguin HQ to steal Kowalski’s power cell. The penguins
wake up & talk about Skipper’s absence. They schedule a time to worry about
their fearless leader.
-You heard right! They have to schedule a time to worry about Skipper. It’s
not for an important meeting; they’re scheduling the time to let out an emotion. It’s like me setting a time to get
mad.
(Example:
ME: I’ll get mad at 8:00 tonight. But I can’t
cancel reading again. So 7:30.)
But
scheduling’s the least of their worries, because guess who comes to visit…
-Wow. Blowhole’s that scary?
Blowhole
gets out his Diaboligizer. (How the hell did he fit that into his car? (Plot hole #5)) He tells them that he’ll use it
on them, & that Skipper can’t save them this time.
-Uh, penguins? Go for the exit!
They can go anytime they want, but they don’t, which is stupid.
The
Penguins do the noblest thing: give up & wait to meet their doom.
-In fact, this is where the
Penguins should’ve known that Skipper
was in deep trouble right now. Or maybe they should’ve known that in their
first scene (I don’t care which).
But when Julien
& Mort return with the battery now in the iPod, Blowhole misfires. The iPod
comes to life.
-Again, feel free to leave the
room, guys, because the iPod isn’t gonna stop growing.
Zoo’s musical scene:
And
thus, we begin the musical portion of the movie. (What took so long, I don’t
know.)
1st song
sung by zoosters: “What the Heck is That?”
-Mason the chimp sings: “I heard
what I believe to be a scream.” Dude, nobody screamed.
-Bada the gorilla points &
sings: “Check out that mook in the starry night sky.” A mook is either a disagreeable/incompetent person, or a character
serving little purpose in a story. (In case y’all didn’t know…)
-Bing (other gorilla) sings: “That
Bing can’t help but sing along.” Wait a sec. Aren’t you Bing?
2nd Song:
“Julien’s Music Player”
-Making up words as we go: “huge-osity,”
“dumby-dumb,” & “doom-y.” Creative,
huh, guys?
-Did anyone catch the melody to
this one? It’s like the whole song was improvised.
3rd Song:
“Everybody Must Sing”
-Finally! Dr. Blowhole sings! So
far he’s doing pretty well in this duet with Kowalski.
-The song is entitled, “Everybody
Must Sing;” but only two people are singing, while everyone else hesitates, and
maybe sing a lyric or two.
-Magic trash can: “Now everybody
sing! Everybody sing! Everybody has to sing! You don’t have much choice, but to
module your voice! [See trash can] Because everybody must sing!”
4th song:
“Brand New Plan”
-Oh good! A solo by Dr. Blowhole!
Ladies & gentlemen, our 1st soliloquy in the form of a song!
-I feel like I’m on a roller
coaster. This song has more twists & turns than the whole movie.
-He’s not singing out in the open. This
was all in his head! Plus, his left eye lit up like a…
What the hell is he doing?! Did he get possessed on his way to the zoo? But still, NPH nailed it.
-Blah, blah, blah; Dr. Blowhole is
evil in the most clichéd ways possible. (Next!)
Outside the zoo:
Skipper sees the green glow coming
from the zoo, but doesn’t acknowledge the singing. Fred
the Squirrel makes a cameo. (Plot hole #6: I guess he snuck in from the back. In
fact, (Plot hole #7), why is he in this movie at all? He just thinks that Skipper’s weird.)
5th song:
“Porpoise Power Ballad”
-Another song by Blowhole… The song
just started, & already we see him with puppy-dog eyes.
-Big words: mediocre, ignoramus, cajole, & shan’t (Wow, Blowhole’s a Shakespeare fan?)
-And let’s not forget the
oxymorons: …wonderful wicked harmony…beautiful evil…
Blowhole
turns the mutated iPod on the zoo. He leaves, and no one does anything.
-Someone stop him? An evil dolphin
with mutated machinery isn’t easy to battle one-on-one.
But
when all hope seems lost, Skipper finally shows up to (I guess) save the day.
-Wow. The other Penguins are
totally dependent on Skipper. It’s like they’re friggin’ five!
Kowalski
then brings Skipper up to speed on what’s going on.
-(I mimic Kowalski): Well, the story has like a gazillion plot
holes; many of us characters are as clueless as hell for the sake of the plot; the
songs don’t go pass two or three minutes; and I have a feeling that the songs
and Neil Patrick Harris are more popular than the actual movie.
Skipper’s
plan: Who do they get to go against Blowhole’s angelic instrument? Julien!
-This was a choice that I didn’t
like. I was hoping they’d pick Kowalski, because he sang with Blowhole not long
ago, & he was pretty good.
NYC street scene:
The
Penguins & Julien arrive in town & they run into… a taxi driver.
-Shut up, taxi driver! You’re not
even in this movie.
The group spot
Blowhole, which gives us our next song…
-Wow! Check out Julien’s cape &
glasses! Wait a sec. Since when did the mutated iPod become a traveling talent
scout?
-“Mort and Maurice disturbing the peace…”
(Find out who’s doing what first.)
-Why doesn’t Blowhole try & take
control of the iPod? It’s like handling a rowdy dog on a leash.
-Blah, blah, blah. Julien likes
shaking his booty and singing.
Team Penguin
crash into a billboard of fireworks, & Blowhole laughs.
-You know, Dr. Blowhole seems to
outwit people a few too many times in
this movie.
1. He lures Skipper into a trap in
Shanghai, steals his memories, and lets him drown.
2. He sees that Skipper is still
alive; so he sends a missile to destroy him.
3. He travels down into the
Penguins’ secret passage way to their HQ, while avoiding the traps.
4. The giant iPod goes on a rampage;
& he uses it to his advantage.
5. He sees the Penguins trying to
board the iPod with him; he just fires his cyborg eye at them.
7th song:
“We Are The Penguins”
-The first part is with Alex trying
to get Skipper to sing. Skipper starts singing & attracts the attention of
Dr. Blowhole.
-Brief shooting scene: until
Blowhole runs out of ammo. (Dude, it’s not like a water gun.)
Skipper &
Blowhole exchange “I’m gonna get you” lyrics; while Skipper’s buddies just watch them argue through song. (Why
don’t they get off their asses & help him?) Skipper then makes a big jump,
& while that’s going on:
1. Private is launched upward to
distract Blowhole.
2. Julien is doing the robot. (I
guess he got bored or something.)
3. Kowalski, with Rico, shoots a
plunger at the iPod’s rear. (Where the hell did Private go as the plunger &
Skipper meet at the same place at the same time? I guess he did a disappearing
act.)
-Wait a sec. Is it the animation,
or is NPH doing magic tricks? First it was the trash can at the zoo; & now
Private goes just as Skipper jumps off a building. This isn’t a magic show!
Skipper pulls
the plunger. The battery falls out. The iPod shrinks & disappears.
-So, all this technology, singing,
& trying-to-get-home-before-evil-does crap, & the answer is the
equivalent to turning off a light switch? It looks like pulling-the-plug logic
saves the day.
Dr.
Blowhole tries to flee, but loses his mind (literally) to his own Mind-Jacker.
He wakes up as a performing dolphin named Flippy. (Plot hole # 8: Hi. How did
he end up there a “clean slate”? Is the Mind-Jacker a teleporting device? Or
did the Penguins carry him there?)
The
show ends with Skipper high-fiving Alex, & his penguin buddies are none the
wiser.
(Plot hole # 9: Skipper never tells his men about
the Mind-Jacker incident in Shanghai.)
That
was The Return of the Revenge of Dr.
Blowhole. Now does it really hold up when compared to Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge?
The
second act was where the most problems started,
because it just wanted to humor us with dumbass humor. The 1st act, though, was
pretty solid. We got the focal point of the movie, & the scenes kept us
begging for more (That's the science of movie attraction).
This
TV movie, overall, experienced minor problems. The plot holes were unbelievable,
although they weren’t piled up in 1 place like the ones in Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge did. Also, some of the secondary characters
just twiddled their thumbs. (Lack of common sense is supposed to be funny?) Plus,
I kept expecting to see the TBS logo,
& to hear reactions from a live audience that you’d hear in comedies like Everybody Loves Raymond, because it was that corny. Finally, if this was
supposed to be a musical, then why wasn’t it served right away? (We had to wait
until the 2nd act to get the musical, which was a bit
disappointing.) And besides, the special is entitled The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole. Why not shorten the title and make to say: The Return of Dr. Blowhole's Revenge, or... Dr. Blowhole's 2nd Revenge, or... Dr. Blowhole Returns... those could've been better titles, because the title they have now is fixing to be longer than the show itself.
But
still, the movie was funny & exciting in an appropriate way. In fact, it
had some funny scenes & gags. So I’d say that this movie did just as good as Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge, despite the
corniness, plot holes, & the over-the-top “WTF?!” moments. As is, it’s not
so bad, & it’s still a personal fav. So I would give this movie a B+.
Amateur Critic
Sources:
Penguins of Madagascar: The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole
LarryBoy and the Angry Eyebrows (that one pic)
All rights go to DreamWorks Animation