"The Penguin Who Loved Me" (Penguins of Madagascar) TV Special Review

Hi, I'm the Amateur Critic. I review just about anything.

Say, have you ever wanted to see Neil Patrick Harris, Ty Burrell, and that... chick from Ally McBeal and Brothers and Sisters guest star in a kids' TV show? Um, I don't know. But this is the Penguins of Madagascar special “The Penguin Who Loved Me.”

Too bad this special didn't air on Nickelodeon as it should have in the United States. If you were a die-hard fan like me that waited for Dr. Blowhole’s comeback, then you got gypped. Know why? As I said, this special never aired on Nickelodeon, but it did in other countries.

As for the TV special itself, it was kind-of clichéd, because of the situation that the characters are in. Plus, it's corny. But the obviously bad thing about this special is that it's only half an hour long. Why couldn't it be longer like The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole?

Maybe this is the biggest comeback in Dr. Blowhole history... So, tell me. How does this special begin?

 

Title Sequence:

The show starts with a strange opening. We see bubbles. We see King Julien and Mort swimming in purplish ocean(?) And then we see silhouette versions of Dr. Blowhole (I guess)…

We hear a song dedicated to Dr. Blowhole.

-Gee, I wonder who the show got to sing this villain-based song? I'm gonna say... Adele(?)
Liz Gilles

That mean-looking girl from that Nickelodeon show Victorious? (Like I care…)
-Plus, what pisses me off is that the song doesn't go past 30 seconds! It’s a good tune, you know! They should've made this song longer, but then again, the credits are rolling in this opening... but that makes no difference! The song should've been longer!

-The show makes Dr. Blowhole look so satanic!

Are they high? He looks bad ass! You might as well play "Night on Bald Mountain" from Disney's Fantasia while you're at it!

Opening Scene:

 

The show finally starts with Kowalski testing a pair of anti-gravity boots, which are, obviously, a failed experiment. And then we get our next "failed experiment": a platypus named Parker, voiced by Ty Burrell, who you may know from Modern Family.

-I just gotta say: Hi, Perry the Platypus! Who would've known your image would be ripped off here? I'm not kidding! It's friggin' Perry! Just ditch the hat, then change the skin color, and... there you have it! Plus, besides the physical similarities, there are also the character similarities.
1. Both Perry and Parker are bad-ass fighters.
2. Both Perry and Parker go undercover.
3. Both Perry and Parker work for somebody.

I mean, seriously. This show isn't even trying!

Anyway, Parker stops by the penguin habitat and tells Kowalski something that makes the penguin run back into the Penguin HQ, grab all his stuff, and leave quicker than he entered.

Team Penguin sees Kowalski's strange behavior. Skipper guesses that he’s still crying over his ex-girlfriend Doris. How does he know this?

He has surveillance footage on his men.

-(sarcasm) Oh, well, Dr. Blowhole wouldn't do the same thing. Why? Why?

Harbor Scene:

Kowalski and Parker arrive at the harbor. Kowalski is anxious to meet Doris, because he, apparently, hasn't seen her in a while.

We finally see Doris the Dolphin, played by Calista Flockhart, who you may remember from Ally McBeal and Brothers and Sisters. (Check your grandparents for local listings.)

We see Doris in her dolphin beauty, but then that idea is thrown away when she tells Kowalski that she and Parker are dating. This triggers more of Kowalski’s miserable.

-What’s next? Doris is pregnant with Parker’s baby? (No wait. That can never happen.)

            Kowalski doesn’t think that Doris’ relationship with Parker would ever work.

Kowalski: “It’ll never work, Doris! Is he bird? Is he mammal? If he can’t commit to a species, how can he commit to you?!”

-Aww, come on, Kowalski! You’re trying to get back with Doris, not try and be her dad. There’s a difference between boyfriend and father.

But then the other Penguins ride over to the harbor in their Penguin car.

 

-How were they able to drive that fast during New York rush hour?

The Penguins are about to attack Doris and Parker, but Kowalski stops them... even though he's still depressed and everything.

Parker finally reveals to the penguins that Doris needs help.

Penguin HQ scene:

 

The Penguins learn that Doris needs help getting her brother out of captivity at a place called Seaville. Parker asks Kowalski to help on the navigation part. Kowalski, still jealous of Parker and Doris being together, agrees to help, but also vows to get him back for stealing her.

So Team Penguin decides to help out, impressing Doris, who's outside in their pool.

-This begs the question: Why would Doris, a dolphin, be outside the Penguin HQ? In The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole, Blowhole had no problem fitting into the HQ. But, I did grass.

While that's happening, King Julien is at his habitat, bored and jealous that the Penguins have a better water-based fancy than he does.

 

-That's it? Julien has 1-2 lines of dialogue in this special? Maurice and Mort don't say or do anything at all?
Oh, look! It is I, King Julien! I’m here doing absolutely nothing. I'm just… Sorry, I think the comic relief isn’t working. Eh, why am I here again? I'd rather be in the theme song again...

Going to Seaville:

So, our team of heroes, along with Doris and Parker, travel by ocean to Seaville... which is a knock-off of Coney Island.
Skipper: “Skipper’s Log: We run silent. We run deep… Right up to Seaville’s backdoor…”

-Come on! Don’t try to build up suspense with dramatic monologue! You’re called “The Penguin Who Loved Me”! No one’s gonnna take a so-called “love story” that seriously!

Once they get there, Kowalski tries to impress Doris how showing how smart he is, but Parker succeeds in being the only "decent" person in the group.

But before you can say "security," security guards spot them. But before you can say "Perry the Platypus," Parker takes out the guards with his pointed spikes on his feet. This makes Kowalski even more jealous, because he's trying so hard to impress Doris.

 

-Don't give up, Kowalski. You'll get what’s coming to you. (Not to give anything away here...)

Dolphin Theater scene:

The gang finally finds the dolphin exhibit where Doris' brother is held captive. The Penguins shed some light in this place, and guess who appears...

-Dr. Blowhole?! He's Doris' brother?! Wow! What a twist!

            It turns out that Blowhole doesn’t remember who he is. And, if you forgot what happened last time, Kowalski conveniently fills everybody in about the Mind-Jacker incident from the last time we saw Blowhole (refer to The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole). However, Doris doesn’t buy into Kowalski’s claim, insisting that the dolphin is her brother Francis.

-Francis? Really? That’s Dr. Blowhole’s real name in this series? I’ve always imagined that his first name was something like “Axel” or… maybe “Flippy,” because that was the name that he was giving near the end of The Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole. But Francis? Really, guys? That doesn’t strike fear into people’s hearts.
-Plus, Doris is supposed to be Dr. Blowhole’s sister. Shouldn’t she be more involved with what he does in his spare time? I mean, where is that brother-sister relationship? Will we see any of that in this special?

            Anyway, Parker steps in and confirms both sides of the argument. Why? Because, my God… it turns out that Parker is one of Dr. Blowhole’s employers. He then attacks the penguins and even Doris, stealing Kowalski’s GPS and knocking all of them out unconscious.

 

-Don’t act like you didn’t see this coming…

Dr. Blowhole’s Volcano-Looking Lair:

Dr. Blowhole is returned to his lobster minions…
-Hi. How did Parker manage to get him there?

            Parker wants the lobsters to pay him for his job in bringing Blowhole back, but the lobsters tell him that only Blowhole could sign off on payments that were “ over 50 dollars.”

 

-A thug demanding pay? We must really be in a different show, because any moment, if these guys don’t pay Parker, then this is definitely going to turn into the movie Killing Them Softly.

            Plus, the other lobsters have other expenses and important matters to worry about, like…

 

One Lobster: “That energy cannon is a rental…”
-Then why not take it back to the store and get your money back?
Another Lobster: “What about my vacation request form?”
-Can't you postpone your request?
Third Lobster: “Don’t forget the snacks for the break room. The Cheezy-Bits are wicked stale.”

-Can’t you go buy some more?

            Anyway, the lobsters decide to get Blowhole’s mind “dejacked,” but the dolphin is too busy… being a dolphin.

-Oh, let him have his fun. It’s not like this special is making any sense anyway…

            The lobsters trying pushing buttons on Dr. Blowhole’s Segway, but they pull out other important stuff like: a toilet plunger, a mugufian-stick-or-cigarette-lighter-looking thing, a library card, confetti, and Chrome Claw… but no Mind-Jacker.

 

Dr. Blowhole: “Ooh! Go back to the confetti cannon! I could use that in my routine!”
-Uh… can we get the evil and theatrical Dr. Blowhole back?

Seaville Scene 2:

Meanwhile, our heroes are in Dr. Blowhole’s dolphin exhibit.
-Uh, aren’t we missing a scene here? Like, how did the group regain consciousness from Parker’s attack? But it’s like nothing happen to them, and they were just chilling as if nothing is wrong.

            Kowalski finds this the time to say to Doris an “I told you so” statement on the fact that Parker was apparently for her as a boyfriend... a bad pick for her.

 

-You know, this wasn’t what I had in mind for a Penguins of Madagascar special involving Dr. Blowhole. I find this special not taking itself seriously. I can just see ABC doing a show about this situation with Kowalski and Doris on their Wednesday comedy line-up:
Enjoy our Comedy Wednesday line-up with a brand new show coming this Spring on ABC…
Meet Kowalski and Parker. One’s a bumbling genius with a crush on the girl next door, and the other is the girl’s current boyfriend who has all the right moves. What could be better than Kowalski trying so hard to get back with his ex, who’s now with his rival? And what’s better than throwing in a psychotic twist, leading to an evil mad scientist dolphin getting his memories back and plotting to destroy the world? Don’t miss the new hit comedy: Desperate Penguin. Coming this Spring on ABC. The Fun Starts Here.

            The Penguins and Doris decide to escape Seaville.

So they jump through the Ring of Fire trick, hitting a kid (ha ha), and unbelievably escaping. While that’s going on, we finally see Manfredi and Johnson…

 

-Yeah, the two penguins that Skipper wouldn’t shut up about in the entire series.

            But the gang doesn’t see Manfredi and Johnson, and they swim to Blowhole’s lair.

-How do they get there without Kowalski’s GPS thing?

Blowhole’s Lair Scene:

The lobsters show Dr. Blowhole a slide show with pictures of him planning “Project: Bad Tidings,” only to see that Blowhole isn’t remembering any of it.

-I swear to you that in one of the pictures in the slide show, Blowhole is wearing a tie! My guess is that he stole it from the Nostalgia Critic!
-Plus, that Cancuin pic is hilarious!

With Dr. Blowhole wearing a head band that makes it look like an arrow was shot through his head, and one of the lobster minions wearing a coconut bra…

Dr. Blowhole: “…Seaville’s 2^nd-most popular performer…”
-Who’s in 1^st place, Shamu?

Parker loses his patience and threatens the lobsters to pay him already. But the Penguins and Doris arrive to put Parker in his place… in fact, put everyone in their place, including Blowhole, who has virtually done nothing yet but do flip tricks, frolic in the water, and being an awkward loony.

Kowalski decides to fight Parker, while Skipper fights Blowhole, and the other penguins fight the lobsters.

 

Everything’s doing okay, until Doris decides to join in, by hopping onto a Segway.

Clearly, she’s already doing a bang of destruction, as she runs over people, accidentally sets off the laser guns, and accidentally turning on the Mind-Jacker, wiping out everyone’s memories, including the Penguins.’ Then Kowalski’s mind gets “jacked,” and it isn’t long before Parker kicks Doris off the Segway…

 

-Geez! No matter what scene Doris is in, she’s always getting hurt physically and verbally. Parker is a bunghole!

            Then Parker “dejacks” Dr. Blowhole’s mind, and Blowhole finally gets his memory back.

Dr. Blowhole: “Blowhole is back!”

-Yeah, nobody can argue that… (me, standing up) “Blowhole is back!”

            Parker is still waiting on his payment…

 

-Seriously, are we still on your Killing Them Softly attitude, Parker?

            Dr. Blowhole promises to pay up as soon as the Penguins are captured and done with. Doris, on the other hand, tries to get her brother to stop what he’s doing, but he kinda blows her off.

-Again, how can you not know what’s going on with your own siblings?

            Doris asks him about how be started being a “doctor,” and Dr. Blowhole’s response is:

Dr. Blowhole: “Internet courses through the teaching annex, thank you.”

-Yeah, he’s like, Fuck off, bitch. I’m a mad scientist.

            Anyway, now that everyone around him has their minds “dejacked,” Blowhole has them play a game that he likes to call, “Capture The Peng-you-ins.”

 

-Yeah, turn up the volume and look directly at the screen when you hear Dr. Blowhole say the “Capture The Peng-you-ins” line.

And there you’ll get… an Awkward-Face Moment (Just like I predicted in the LarryBoy and the Yodelnapper review)!

Captivity Scene:

Our Penguin heroes are captured, and…

-How much you wanna bet that this scene is like the captivity scene from Dr. Blowhole’s Revenge? You’d think Dr. Blowhole would have them caged up or tied up and hanging above a river of acid or something… but seriously, this bad guy is reusing his own torture devices to a tee. It’s like reusing a tissue hours after you blew your nose in it…

            Dr. Blowhole takes out his Mind-Jacker. Parker questions this, but Blowhole assures him that he’s doing the right thing:

Parker: “You’re restoring their minds?”
Dr. Blowhole: “Of course! What’s the point of dominating the world if your arch rivals don’t even know you did it?”

-(pause) Who says that?! It’s like saying, I’m gonna rob a bank, but I want the authorities to know that I’m the one robbing the place. But with Dr. Blowhole, everything he does with the Penguins is personal… but that’s still no excuse!

            So Dr. Blowhole restores the Penguins’ memories, and then introduces them to his project: Bad Tidings.

-I’m far too entranced of this special's not-so-great writing to make a joke about that.

            Apparently, Kowalski is already seeing how cliche Blowhole is, because he has guessed correctly on what Project: Bad Tidings is going to do: zap the moon out of its normal orbit, bring it closer to Earth to disrupt the tidal waves, and literally flood the world.

Dr. Blowhole: (in sarcasm) “Well, thank you, Professor Spoiler…”

-Oh, don’t mention it, Doc… I mean… oh. You meant Kowalski. I thought you were telling me…

            Then Doris, who’s now being kept inside a large fish tank, warns her brother about taking over the world… by not allowing him over for Thanksgiving.

 

-(mimicking Doris) And Mom will put you in timeout and have you think about what you’ve done…
-Wow, was having nothing to do with him for the rest of his life too hard for you to say? He’s a mad scientist supervillain! People like him need more than rehab to change!
-Also, can you see that Doris is in a friggin’ fish tank? Yeah, after all the shit she’s been through with the many relationships, the bad one with Parker (recently) attacking her and lying to her about stuff, and dealing with Kowalski’s jealousy… she gets thrown into the tank. (sarcasm) Great call on that, Blowhole!

            So Dr. Blowhole readies the laser cannon, but Kowalski messes with him, saying that the diabolical plan won’t work. Then the two have a little debate on this subject matter:

 

Dr. Blowhole: “Why don’t you think it’ll work?”
Kowalski: “Cavitation?”
Dr. Blowhole: “I accounted for cavitation.”
Kowalski: “And centripetal force?”
Dr. Blowhole: “I accounted for centripetal force.”
Kowalski: “Plus axes tilt?”
Dr. Blowhole: “I accounted for that too…”
-OMG, shut up! I mean, how the hell are we supposed to be invested in this special if all there is, is people debating about things left and right? It’s like watching a 24-hour channel of political debates:

Characters have love-relationship debate here

Characters have a debate on the identity of another character there

Bad guys debate about money and expenses in this scene

The protagonist and his love interest debate about having bad relationships in that scene

The bad guy and good guy debate against each other

Meeting adjourned.

Entertain us, movie! Add a song! Do something whimsical! Do something! Don’t bore us with flat-out debating!

            Anyway, Kowalski gets himself free by doing the most logical thing possible: push Dr. Blowhole hard with his tongue, wait for Blowhole to lose his balance, and press a button on the Segway to unchain himself and his penguin crew.

 

-Wow, that’s the clumsiest dolphin villain that I’ve ever seen. I mean, Dr. Blowhole could be standing there, and I can walk up to him and move him with one finger, and… Plop! He’ll lose his balance.

            Parker goes to fight back, but sees that he’s outnumbered.

            The Penguins then free Doris from the fish tank, and then throw Dr. Blowhole in there in her place.

 

-Yeah, Blowhole. Really think about what you’ve done… You're in timeout!

            The laser cannon is activated, but Rico blows it up with a bomb. The place then starts to get sucked towards the laser cannon now gone haywire.

            Parker tries to escape in the Penguins’ submarine, but Doris quickly stops him from going anywhere. Then Doris serves him with an I’m-breaking-up-with-you squirt of water from her blowhole.

            Our heroes escape, leaving Dr. Blowhole to meet his demise.

 

-Yeah, really think about what you’ve done… Gee, I didn’t know timeout-punishment logic can be useful in situations like this…

Final Scene:

 

Our heroes finally make it home. Kowalski and Doris kiss and make up.

Skipper, on the other hand, tells Private that he and the others haven’t seen the last of Dr. Blowhole…

-(mimicking Skipper) Gentlemen, don’t be surprised if horrible sequels come up.

            Our last scene takes us to Dr. Blowhole and Parker, who are floating on a plank.

 

Already, Parker is pissed off with Blowhole, because he hasn’t gotten his pay yet. Then the show ends with Blowhole trying to offer Parker some gift cards in place of the payment.

 

            And that was our Dr. Blowhole special from Penguins of Madagascar.

            Well, what can I say? It’s not what I had in mind for a Dr. Blowhole story. Nothing about this special seemed like a legit Dr. Blowhole story.

            The decisions that were made to go with the Dr. Blowhole saga just didn’t fit well with the mix. Some of the writing was awkward; the love-interest relationship between Kowalski and Doris wasn’t all that interesting (except when they kissed and made up); and it turns out that this special had very little of Dr. Blowhole’s scheming, let alone very little of him physically in this special.

            But I will say that the voice-acting wasn’t so bad. Calista Flockhart, Ty Burrell, and Neil Patrick Harris were great guest stars on this show.

            But in the long-run, it’s just false advertising. The special is entitled “The Penguin Who Loved Me”; I assume the show was trying to spoof a James Bond movie. But even the title itself didn’t fit with the storyline. If you’re going to spoof a James Bond movie and add love-interests in it, then here’s what I expect to see!

See? There's nothing wrong with amping up Dr. Blowhole's role in this special and making the whole thing an hour long! But for what it is, it's okay. If you wanna see it, check it out on Youtube or Vimeo.

Amateur Critic
Sources:
Penguins of Madagascar
Phineas and Ferb (that one pic)
LarryBoy and the Yodelnapper (the Awkward-Face Moment pic)

All rights go to DreamWorks Animation. That one pic from Disney. The other pic from Big Idea. The comment on imagining ABC doing a sitcom... that was a joke. ABC is the American Broadcasting Network,