"Mario Party 7" Video Game Review

Hi, I'm the Amateur Critic. I review just about anything.

That's right. I'm not only reviewing movies and TV shows. I'm also reviewing... video games! Well, this is my first review on a video game. One of my favorite video games is... you guessed it! Mario Party 7!

I remember being introduced to the game at 12 years old, and guess what: It's still one of my personal favs... (aside from LarryBoy- yeah, he has a game too). But now that I'm an adult, I'm starting to think about this game in another way. I mean, I still like the game, but what draws me to it that I would spend hours on it?
Well, let's uncover the mystery with Mario Party 7.

Introduction:
The game starts off with Mario on a walk. Then Toadsworth, Princess Peach's steward, walks by and offers Mario and his friends a cruise vacation for all their hard work in fighting evil and rescuing people. Mario accepts the offer and rushes to tell his friends.

-Wow, that was subtle. How would you feel if you were offered a vacation? Would you react the same way?

Then we cut to some time later, and the Mario gang are setting sail to... whatever place they're going to.
But then we cut to Bowser seeing the friends go on this trip.

-Now, I got to admit as a kid, this part used to scare me to the point where I wanted to piss my pants.
Bowser sees all this, and... as you can imagine, he gets mad. He roars and stomps, while his Koopa Kid plays peek-a-boo behind his back.
-This big guy is so mad, that you can definitely tell that the narrating dialogue box is being afraid of him by the second. Just look at the (...) in one sentence....

...and then how they still manage to describe Bowser's anger in full detail.

-And plus, what am I even looking at? Is he in hell? I don't know; but he is associated with fire, because in some of the games, he breathes fire.
Bowser then swears revenge against the Mario for... (get a load of this) for not inviting him to their cruise.
-Get over it, Bowser! It's no big deal!!

-WHOA! That zoom was totally unnecessary. Even though you want to show just how angry this guy is... why zoom in on his mouth?! What, did he want to take a bite out of the camera?!
-Another thing: Is he nuts?! There's a reason why they were given this vacation! Because they worked so hard trying to defeat you. So, give them some slack!

-And plus, what do you mean: "And after ALL I've done for them!"? All you did was kidnap Peach a zillion times, threaten to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, lie, steal, and destroy things! You think all of that gives you a free pass to going on the vacation?!
Now the scene with Bowser took like 30 seconds. That's 30 seconds of hell if you watch the introduction. I mean, think about it:
The introduction would go like this:
Happy

Excited

Hell

Hell

Hell

Thank God we're at the start menu.

Start Menu:
The menu just shows the Mario gang running away from Bowser on top of the world (literally).

Main Menu:

Then we have the main menu on which activities to do. You can play against a human or computer in any of these activities.

Board Menu:
Geez! This game has so many menus! You know what! Let's just skip to the actual. Most of you know what to do on the menus.

Pick a board

-Now for the different boards, they have great setups,

but wouldn't it be cool if they spoofed places like SeaWorld or Jurassic Park...

but then again, this is supposed to be a vacation getaway for the heroes.

Set up the game rules

Choose your character

Then play.
-Wow. So many things to set up before you can actually play the game. How pointless is that?

Beginning:
Whether you're playing twosome or foursome or more, you'll have to roll a  dice block to see who goes first.

And then the game starts from there... after the rules are explained (There are different rules based on boards).
The players will roll a dice and then move the number of spaces it indicates.
Again, you can play in a twosome...

...or in fours... or partnering up to build teams.

During the game, you get to buy orbs that'll either help you or make you mess...

...and you'll come across surprises.

-Riveting.
After everyone takes a turn, there's a minigame.
Before each minigame, they give you the rules and what controls to use, and they even give you a chance to do some practice runs before doing the games for real.

-It's best to tell you that the minigames are more fun than the actual game...

There's so many minigames to choose from... in the Free mode... in the actual game, a minigame is selected randomly.
-So it's best to practice some of these, or you'll be wishing you had.
Some minigames are 2 vs. 2...

1 vs. 3...

and everyone against each other.
-Still practice if you haven't mastered a minigame yet.
And some minigames are freebies: free coins.

-But still practice if you want the free coins...
Oh, yeah. And there are certain games that require the mic.

-Yes. You gotta practice your skills and speech for those games too. Wow, you gotta practice for everything for this video game. It's basically a game of intellect and strategy.
At the end, you're supposed to get the most stars,

or at least, the most coins (depending on the rules).

Now, not to give anything away here, but during the game, you'll be confronted by Bowser, whether it's if he's only putting you in the spotlight, or he just wanted to stay on set and annoyed everyone.

There's even a gauge which symbolizes Bowser getting more and more angry after each turn.

-It's like picking at a hornet's net and then staying behind to see if the hornets will attack you or not.
Or, if Bowser himself doesn't want to annoy people, then he'll send Koopa Kid to prey on the innocent.

Speaking of Bowser, he also has minigames of his own: some are single-player,

while some are multiplayer.

What's worse is that before the last few turns, Bowser will give an update on the current scores.

He'll then have the person in last place spin a wheel, and whatever the wheel lands on will change the game rules entirely.

If that's not bad enough, Bowser even has a game board of his own, which you'll have to satisfy certain conditions to unlock. The board, in particular, is called Bowser's Enchanted Inferno.
-I gotta address something: What the heck am I even looking at?

It's like a hellish version of CandyLand! I mean, look at it! Torches that attack players?!

The platforms prone to sinking either every time someone makes a wrong move, or every 5 turns?!

Now... if that ain't the worse thing from Bowser...
Whenever you've worked your way through all the game boards, and then managed to get through Bowser's Enchanted Inferno, then it's the final showdown with Bowser. So, what would Bowser have in store for you? A minigame called "Bowser's Lovely Lift."
All you do is hit the dice blocks at each corner and avoid the fireballs and missiles that Bowser shoots at you. You have to hit the dice blocks all the way to 100.

-Piece of cake, huh? No way! It took me six or seven tries to master this minigame.
What's worse is that at the 50th floor, Bowser will have Koopia Kid help him try to take you down.

-Really? 2 against 1?! Bowser is sadist!

Hopefully, when you give Bowser what for, he'll end up strayed on an island as punishment.

-Wow. That's like sending him to his room, and then telling him to think about what he did... like a friggin' four or five-year-old...

After playing, you'll earn points, souvenirs from the Duty-Free Shop, and unlockables.

-Sounds all fine and dandy, but wouldn't you want to win some of the stuff in real-life?

And that was Mario Party 7. So, does it still hold up as a classic video game?
Granted, the video game requires some skills, knowledge, and strategy. This is good for older people, but kids may or may not catch on, unless they're obsessive with games like this.
Plus, the storyline was just too cheesy... no, wait. Some of it was a cliché: the villain gets mad whenever the hero(es) have a great time without him, and it's that over-the-top scheming for revenge throughout the game. In addition, it takes a while to set up a game if you were planning a game for any number of players- I mean, why waste your playing time setting it up? Wouldn't you want to spend the time actually playing?
However, the creativity was obvious. The graphics are pretty good to look at. Most of the rules were helpful. And Bowser, for the most part, was pretty cool to take on, despite his over-the-top anger and scheming and making our lives miserable during the game.
I call it a classic, because I played this game since I was 12. And to this day, I still play the game.

Amateur Critic
Source: Mario Party 7

All rights go to Nintendo.

"Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" TV Show Review

Hi, I'm the Amateur Critic. I review just about anything.

Disney Junior has a collection of kids' shows that are supposed to be educational and entertaining. It's probably the most popular kids channel... or at least, the most promoted channel than PBS Sprout or any other network.

And the channel seems more appropriate channel seeing that Cartoon Network seems more mature, adult-like than it used to be.

On Disney Junior, you'll probably see some kids' shows that are mediocre or even worth watching. I'll admit that some of the shows are good, but then there are others that are just weird and childish. And plus, there are some shows that even a three or four-year-old would say that it lacks common sense at even the most critical times. Case in point: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

 

If you're a big fan of Mickey Mouse and wanted to get your kids into liking him too, then just know what you're dealing with here. The creators and writers of this show somehow made this famous cartoon icon look and sound like a Disney alternative to Barney the Dinosaur.

In terms of the setting, the show usually takes place in a fictionalized clubhouse created through the characters' imaginations. And the clubhouse obviously looks like Mickey Mouse: the main building, the glove hand, the shoe garage..., which I got to say was very creative.

It's kind of like how the creators from Big Idea came up with the LarryMobile for LarryBoy.

 

The show also features the usual Disney characters like Donald Duck, Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, Daisy, Ludwig von Drake, and Pete.

 

Now, before we go any farther on this review, it's best to tell you that the show is clearly based on Mickey Mouse.

Being 80-something now, Mickey has been the apple of Disney's eye, the success of the Disney company, and even getting his own star on the Walk of Fame (although he's a cartoon character). During his early years, he was shown to be in adult-like situations the majority of the time. Some of his earlier works may have seem less innocent and cutsy, but for some reason, he kept his viewers still watching. This show, however, made Mickey a laid-back, Barney-like main character, which means that he always had a smile whenever trouble brews. I'm not kidding: whenever trouble starts up, he always has this laid-back attitude as if life is good. This suggests that he, in this show, has become one-dimensional, because he doesn't get depressed or angry... he's just like Barney, when you come to think of it.

As for the characters, I'll give you the skinny on them. I even compare them to their earlier works with Mickey:

-Donald Duck

Back then: A compulsive whiner and screamer that usually has the most misfortune than Mickey

Now: Still a whiner and screamer, but has less misfortune than back then

-Daisy Duck

Back then: Madly in love with Donald, but wears the pants whenever they're dating. Plus, she can be psychotic at times...

Now: Good-natured; a good friend to Donald; NOT psychotic

-Goofy

Back then: Disney's only acceptable means of slap-stick humor; a laid-back oddball with the exception of SOME frustration

Now: Not much of a slap-stick humorist, instead a joke-making oddball; stil laid-back
-Pluto
(not much has changed with this dog)
-Minnie Mouse
Back then: Mickey's flame; expects a lot from Mickey when she and him are in a relationship; an obsessive perfectionist
Now: Innocent and cutesy; not as demanding of Mickey; has some goals
-Pete the Cat
Back then: Greedy; the usual bad guy that tries to get rid of Mickey with any means of evil
Now: An occasional pest; the most obnoxious character on this show; has remorse after he does something wrong
(Yes! This show has changed most of the characters!)
The show teaches kids problem-solving and early math skills, which is impressive.

In addition, the show has positive messages and pretty good role models for kids to look up to. Plus, the show encourages interaction: this means that the characters ask the kid audience questions on problem-solving and math questions, and the kids in turn must answer them.

The characters even have this gadget called Toodles that literally gives them the tools that they need to solve a problem.

But is it all too good to be true sometimes?
Granted, the show does have a gentle side on kids, but are they playing kids for fools sometimes? There are times when one would watch an episode and think: The problem would've been solved right away if the characters weren't so naïve the whole time or How come they didn't notice the culprit/problem the first time? Plus, Toodles doesn't exist in real-life; so what if a kid calls out to Toodles, and no one shows up to save the day? Why not tell your kids that they need to ask for stuff in order to solve their problems?
The show even tries to put in some comedic antics every once in a while, which is okay at first, but then you just wish that they would get serious. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids to know when to play around and when to be serious? I mean, how would you like it if a tragedy happens, and your kid is laughing and joking about it the whole time? If you want to add humor in a kids' show, fine; but don't overdo it: tell a story, connect, emote, and be credible. However, I got to say that the show has some good character-based jokes every once in a while, which is tolerable.

And then there's the obnoxious and the out-of-place characters. Almost very character is either too laid-back or they're just as naïve as everyone else.

In fact, I think that Daisy Duck is probably the most decent character in this show, because you can actually see yourself in her: she would have problems every now and then; she has goals (more than Minnie, in fact) that are almost-real-life-related that kids may relate to; and she's much more memorable whenever she does her spying and action-packed adventures. (Minnie may have some adventures, too, but she plays it way too Red-Riding-Hood-ish. It pays to be a tough girl.)
Oh, and, don't get me started to Pete the Cat. He's the most obnoxious character on this show!

Sure, he may not be as evil as he was back in the day; but here, he's just weird and childish! It's like: are we supposed to take him seriously, or is he just there to annoy everyone?
Now, as far as storyline goes, there's a bazillion plot holes in the entire series. For example, the "Mickey's Great Clubhouse Hunt."

Here are some plot holes:
1. If the sections of the clubhouse floated away by Pete's saying the magic words wrong, then how the hell are they able to track some of them down, if one of the sections is in space?!

Imagination can't be the only answer! There has to have some logic behind that!
2. If this special is supposed to revolve around Easter...
(Okay, that's not really a plot hole... However...)

This special is supposed to revolve around Easter, but in truth, this so-called "Easter special" has very little Easter in it, except for the beginning scenes and the ending. It's like buying The Avengers DVD and then realizing that there's only one or two scenes of the superheroes in action. Such a scam!

So, by analyzing this show, is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse worth watching or not?

Well, I think the show is tolerable for the little kids, because at that point in their lives, they're only starting to learn things like basic math and problem-solving skills. There are so many likeable characters, with the exception of the weird and childish. The problems that they introduce in the storyline are relatable, despite there being some plot holes.
It turns out that it's okay to make kids laugh, but it return, it's not worth the constant forced humor and the lack of common sense that some of the characters would have at some point. Plus, it also important to tell a story, instead of tossing things at the kids like junk food; be nutritious and entertaining, as well as showing connecting with kids, having real-life emotions, and show credibility.
If you enjoy this show, good for you. If not, then it's your call. If your kids really love this show, then let them see it. If they prefer something else, then let them see another kids' show.

Amateur Critic
Sources:
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
Veggietales (those two pics)

All rights go to Disney, and the two pics belong to Big Idea Entertainment