And welcome to Whatsoever Critic's Christmas! Yeah, since we're in the month of all the Christmas shopping, all the gift-giving, and all the pigging out on the cookies, egg nog, and other stuff... I've decided to do a countdown of my WORST, BEST, and INDIFFERENT Christmas specials that I have seen as a kid and as an adult.
So, welcome to Part 1 of this segment. Now, before we can get to the good things in life, we have to get the bad ones over with, right?
6. Rudolph's Shiny New Year (Rankin/Bass)
This one was so forgettable when I was a kid. In fact, it didn't feel like a legit Christmas special. I mean, what, Father Time's son disappears; Rudolph vows to rescue the baby, while befriending a cave man and Ben Franklin (?)...
-(pausing in confusion) I don't know!
... and it turns out a large bird is behind all the problems...?
The plot alone was confusing and strange. Why is it here? What's the purpose?
5. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
I like the song that this special was based on... NOT THE SPECIAL ITSELF!
The special centers around an old grandma that was... run over by a reindeer... and goes missing. The grandson believes that he can get his grandma back, because she owns a bakery. But his "evil" adult cousin Mel wants to sell the store for cold hard cash. Sooner or later, Santa himself becomes involved with trying to bring Grandma back, but then he's being sued by Mel for having part in Grandma's disappearance... and so that she can sue Santa for everything that he has, which, of course, would make her rich.
-It's people like Mel that I hate, because all they care about is money, money, money... That's like an overused cliche for most villains in most bad movies.
Thank God Nostalgia Critic reviewed this movie, because I didn't really care for this one. It was weird; it was prolonging; and it was just a dull waste.
4. Jack Frost (Rankin/Bass)
This one felt like a hopeless romantic story. It's about a magical person that's in love with a beautiful woman. He hopes to marry her, and even becomes human himself, so that he can be with her; but she falls in love with someone else.
-Wait, isn't this like a male version of The Little Mermaid? Awkward.
Anyway, I didn't like it, because the main character doesn't get the girl. It was sad. Plus, the focus isn't really on Christmas, but they managed to fit in Groundhog's Day...
-...for some twisted reason...
...and all it is is trying to win over someone you love. It didn't seem like a legit Christmas special... and yet ABC Family continues to air this special every year, don't they?
3. Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
If you haven't read my review for this special, go ahead and do it right now.
But, to be fair, I wouldn't say that this is the worst Christmas special ever. I mean, it's entertainingly bad. I mean, don't be surprised if you find any memes for this special or Youtube mashup videos on it.
My review would explain its awkwardness. So, it's best to check out the review.
2. Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July (Rankin/Bass)
Talk about inconsistent and strange! It's awful!
I mean, if a special can't decide if it wants to be a Christmas special or if it wants to be a adult-based fantasy, then how should it know what audience it wants to appeal to? Does it appeal to kids? Fantasy-enthusiasts? Young adults? Who?
Plus, it claims to be all about Christmas, when in actuality, the month is July, and... it's just a circus performing to the audience/ This was obviously phoned in as a half-ass crossover special, so that two Christmas icons can come together and perform at the story's circus setting.
-By the way, Frosty has kids and a wife?
-Plus, if Rudolph's bright-nose ability was given to him by a magical fairy, on the condition that he does good and no evil with it... I thought he was born with the nose ability! That was proven in Rankin/Bass's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!
-And wait, if you destroy the evil Wizard, then Frosty and his family melts? Shouldn't it be the other way around: destroy the Wizard so that they wouldn't melt? That's f**ked up!
1. Frosty the Snowman (Rankin/Bass)
(By now, you're thinking: How dare you, Whatsoever Critic! You don't appreciate a holiday classic! How come? Just let me explain.)
It's not that I don't appreciate holiday classics. What gets to me, though, is that I want holiday classics to do themselves right. Not like this childish, poorly-written, half-assed joke of a special. The animation was inconsistent. The voice-acting sounded like it was done in one go. The characters were lame and underdeveloped.
-If there was anything in value, was Jimmy Durante as both the narrator and singer. And that's it!
When I saw this special as a kid, I didn't know any better. I had allowed myself to immerse myself in this awkwardness. Now that I'm an adult, its awkwardness continues to haunt me.
Why is it here? I know this was based on a short story... that someone wrote. I guess the story wasn't meant to become a TV special, but only a written work. However, if you want to turn a written work into a TV special, then go for it, but do it as an adult! Do it right!
And that's my Worst Christmas Specials list! Stay tuned for my BEST Christmas Specials list. Yes, the bad comes before the good. I promise you, you'll like this next list better.
Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Rudolph's Shiny New Year
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Jack Frost
Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas In July
Frosty the Snowman
Courtesy: Rankin/Bass and SFM Entertainment/Warner Home Video
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