Yes, there are good and bad villains. By "good," I mean legit villains that have agenda and aren't so crappy in personality. By "bad," I mean so forced to contrive that you would end up saying at the end of the movie/show, "Why didn't they pick another villain? This one was weird."
Some movies would have great set-ups and storyline, but it takes one "bad" villain to fuck everything up, either because of their awkward personality, their one-dimensional character, or both. So today, I'm bringing you my Top 8 Worst Villains. So, bad guys, prepare to be on my Wall of Shame.
8. Mr. Nezzer from some of the Veggietales videos
In my book, this guy is often considered the a-hole (besides Cedric the rap scallion) of all the Veggietales characters, because in most of the Veggietales videos, he has the antagonist role.
Well, I'll give this guy credit for not being an "official" bad guy, because in other Veggietales videos, he shows that he has a heart and is willing to change from his old ways.
But still, I can't get over the "Bunny Song," as well as his "definition of Christmas" from The Toy That Saved Christmas. Other than those things, Mr. Nezzer isn't so bad, good or evil, which is why I scored him low on the countdown.
7. Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and Drake from The Pebble and the Penguin
Yeah, I had to put these two muscle-bound baddies together in the #7 spot.
Let's first talk about the similarities: they're both muscle-bound (obviously); they both chase a girl to where they'll try and force her to marry them; they both have many "kiss-ups" who believe it when they say that they're the best of the best when it comes to manliness; they both bully the hero/good guy; and of course... they both die in terrible ways in the end.
Now about Gaston: at first, he's seen as the town hero and the guy that everyone (except Belle) wants to hang out with. However, as the movie progresses, Gaston gets jealous of Belle loving the Beast and wants to kill the Beast, so that he can marry her.
This, however, backfires when he falls off the rooftops of Beast's castle to his death.
-Hey, who says that jealousy doesn't pay? (They're liars.)
Now on Drake: People can tell that this is the Don Bluth equivalent to Gaston. Well, the reason why I say that he's obviously similar to Gaston is because one, Beauty and the Beast came out before The Pebble and the Penguin; and two, he basically has the same ambition and goals as Gaston. Apparently, Don Bluth got some inspiration from the Disney film, that he decided to come up with his own love story to cater to the romance fans.
Now what sets Drake apart from Gaston is that he's much more intimidating- I mean, Tim Curry, the guy that played Drake, did the voice acting really well; you can feel the sincerity in his voice, and... Who knows? That might make you piss your pants when you hear that voice.
-Well, not that I've ever pissed my pants... Get real.
Plus, what sets Drake apart from Gaston is how he meets his end. Sure, he falls off something like Gaston, but unlike Gaston, he surprises everyone by coming back and trying to kill everyone, but in the process, gets crushed by a friggin' boulder.
-Wow? A muscle-bound villain getting killed by something bigger than him.
6. Forte from Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
Another bad guy voiced by Tim Curry? SOLD!
Well, actually, for this bad guy, he seemed very legit. He had ambition; he had this thing where he tricks people into believing that he is good, when in reality, he was bad...
-Which is what makes a great villain...
However, I placed Forte on this list, because first of all, he's a pipe organ (which is a bore); and two, he doesn't go anywhere, but has other people do it for him...
But doesn't he have super powers? In the movie, he plays music and has these green visuals in the form of sheet music...
-(pause) Why doesn't he use his super powers to move around to get his evil deeds done?
5. Plankton from SpongeBob Squarepants
This guy is already a bore. Why? Because the show that he's in has been around since the mid-90s. He keeps trying to reach the goal of stealing the Krabby Patty formula to make his own restaurant a success.
-It's like another Bowser-kidnapping-Princess-Peach-over-and-over scenario.
And even if the scenario seemed different in each episode, there was still that same shit about wanting the Krabby Patty formula!
-Dude! Why not try something else?
4. Parker from Penguins of Madagascar
Not much to say about this guy, but only that he stole Dr. Blowhole's thunder when it comes to villainy.
(refer to my review on The Penguin Who Loved Me)
3. The Alchemist from LarryBoy: Leggo My Ego
(sigh) How can one describe the Alchemist?
Well, how about this? He has no redeeming value whatsoever.
First of all, he's a Momma's boy. Why? Because his mother does most of the work when it comes to doing evil deeds.
Second, he spends most of the movie not doing much of anything except say lame things, do ridiculous villain poses to make himself look threatening...
...hide behind his mother (sometimes literally), and the constant... the constant... snorting.
-Grow up!
Anyway, he's nothing compared to the next villains on the list.
2. Awful Alvin from LarryBoy and the Angry Eyebrows and Ozzy from Land Before Time 2: The Great Valley Adventure
Just like I did earlier in the countdown, I decided to let these two guys share this spot.
They are both sick, twisted fiends. They both have some kind of obsession; they both seem questionable as villains (either obsessing over somebody and/or wanting to do away with somebody in a way that would make parents cringe); and... yeah! They're both crazy.
On Awful Alvin: No matter how bad he is, he seems to out-mug Ozzie, because Alvin would talk directly to the audience at times, and make you feel on the spot. Plus, he has a floor lamp for a henchmen.
-Why not get real minions?
On Ozzie: Unlike Awful Alvin, Ozzie is an addict. And as I said many times before in my blog, he needs help; he needs to go to rehab for his egg addiction.
-Why the hell would any parent want their kids to see this loony? And why was he in a kids' video to begin with? It's like having a porn addict on Barney the dinosaur's show. It just doesn't seem right.
Anyway, these guys are nothing compared to the villain that's number one on this list!
1. Cedric from Sofia the First
Here's a fun question: What would you call a villain that usually stays in secluded places, has no friends, wants to seize power in any shape or form... and obsesses over a girl that happens to be a princess with a magical amulet?
Well, in my book, that would be a pervert. Yeah, all this guy wants is to get Sofia's amulet and then rule the kingdom. Going after a little girl should be questionable.
And to make matters worse, this guy's voice can make anyone uncomfortable. Every time he speaks, it sounds as if he's having an organism to every word he's saying.
-It's that uncomfortable!
Sure, this guy may have some kind of morality in his skull (to keep the show G-Rated, that is), and he may show regret every once in a while, but he's still weird... God-awfully weird!
In fact, many of these villains seem uncomfortable. However, Cedric is number one of this list, because I feel that this was one of Disney's foul-ups that usually slip under the radar of what's tolerable on children's TV.
Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Veggietales
Beauty and the Beast
The Pebble and the Penguin
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
Spongebob Squarepants
Penguins of Madagascar
LarryBoy: The Cartoon Adventures
Land Before Time 2: The Great Valley Adventure
Sofia the First
Courtesy: Big Idea Entertainment, Disney, Don Bluth/MGM Studios, Nickelodeon, DreamWorks Animation, and MCA Universal Home Video.
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