Hi, I'm the Whatsoever Critic. I review just about anything.
And yes... this is another review on an educational video. This is Winnie the Pooh's School Bus Safety Adventure (as entitled on Youtube).
Can you really blame Disney for issuing educational videos like vaccines? Well, I don't think that this is the worst educational video, but its still got its kinks.
So let's dive in!
(opening the storybook)
-Pass the storybook cliche already...
-Wait! The book is called "Pooh's Great School Bus Adventure"? Okay then.
Narrator: "One beautiful day, as Winnie the Pooh and Piglet were exploring the Hundred Acre Wood..."
-Again? Live-action? Well, if they did it in the "Too Smart for Strangers" video, then they supposedly had to do it here too.
-Wait. Did this video come out before or after "Too Smart for Strangers"?
So the story begins with Pooh and Piglet discovering a brown lunch bag...
Narrator: "... with the words 'Don't peek' written on it."
-I was about to say that, but thanks.
Pooh: "What do you suppose this is, Piglet?"
-(as if to answer) I don't know, but whatever it is, it's a secret. What do you think "Don't peek" means?
The two assume that Christopher Robin forgot his lunch bag, and they round up the rest of their friends to ride a bus to school...
Narrator: "... The problem was, neither if them have ever ridden a school bus before, although they had always dreamed about it."
-It's funny that this video has a narrator, and the "Too Smart for Strangers" video didn't. Then again, this video is staying true to the traditional Winnie-the-Pooh storytelling.
-And no, Christopher Robin isn't appearing in this video. (Audience going "Aw man!")
The friends meet up at a... invisible bus stop(?)...
-...along with something blocking the camera lens momentarily...
...as all see the bus coming.
-Is it me, or is that a Muppet character that Jim Henson forgot all about for some reason?
Tigger: "Right-ie roo! I'll be like Pooh, and think safety too!"
-(mimicking Tigger)
Yeah, be like Pooh! I can grow a belly, wear red shirts, and carry a pot of honey all the time... (pause)
Well, I don't know about the belly part...
So the first thing that the gang learns is to step away from the curb.
-How do they do that?
Pooh: "...when you see the bus coming, you should line up two big steps back from the curb."
(they back up "two big steps")
Piglet: "I feel a lot safer back here."
-What, between two people, with one's rear to your face? Just saying...
-This would've been an innuendo, but I won't dwell on it much longer.
Just then, Eeyore arrives, and his friends tell him that he's late.
-Well, better late than never, right? Um...
Eeyore: "...what's wrong with being a little late? I've made it just in time, didn't I?"
-(mimicking Eeyore) Well, I had to smoke a few joints before getting here. You can tell just by the sound of my voice.
Rabbit: "Well, if you're late, you might worry that you're going to miss the bus. And then, you might run across the street without looking, and then you might trip and fall."
-Yeah, and/or you might choose to cut school today. I mean, doesn't this video teach about truancy too? Because in the world we live in now, our high schoolers are notorious for this.
So, seeing that everyone is present, they all start singing a song about bus safety... and sounds generic, as if it came out of an episode of Sesame Street.
Pooh (singing): "Whenever you ride the bus, whenever you go to school or whatever you do..."
-I just find it amazing that while the characters are singing, the bus driver is just patiently waiting for them to get on the bus. Shouldn't he be saying: "Get your furry asses in here already! You think you're the only people that I have to pick up today? By the way, your depressy donkey friend can't smoke pot in here..."
(Okay, maybe I went too far on that last part...)
On the bus:
Now that the gang is
finally on the bus, the bus gets going to Christopher Robin's school.
Narrator: "Soon, Winnie the Pooh and his friends were all on their way to Christopher Robin's school..."
- I just said that!
-By the way, the green-screen effects in this video are awkward, which makes me appreciate the effects in
Barney's Imagination Island more.
Okay, even though this was filmed somewhere in the 80s, at least put some more effort into it!
Pooh: "Piglet, did you see this feather that I found?"
-(mimicking Pooh):
Yeah, and let me stick my hand towards the window, so that invisible string can yank it out of the bus to make the effect that the feather flew out of my grasp.
But that's okay, because we learn more bus safety (through that same song) like:
1. Don't stick your head or hands out the windows.
2. Don't eat or drink on the bus.
3. Be nice to other passengers.
4. Don't throw things inside the bus.
5. No shouting, or it'll distract the driver.
-How much you want to bet that many people, especially middle-school and high-school students, don't take these rules seriously in today's day and age? Nobody did, when
I was in high school.
-By the way, hi, lazy green-screen effect of the bus driving by.
Later on, on the bus:
During the ride, Pooh drops the lunch bag, and the contents spill out: a toy school bus with a note from Christopher Robin saying that he made the toy for Pooh and his friends.
Tigger: "A sandwich... with wheels?"
-Uh, don't you mean Meals-On-Wheels?
So it turns out that the gift was made, because Christopher Robin knew that they've always wanted to ride the bus.
Piglet: "Christopher Robin will be surprised when he finds out that we really did ride the school bus!"
Tigger: "And we rode it safely too! He'll be awfully proud!"
-Or... he'll be awfully concerned when he turns on the news later on and hears about a group of furries riding a bus to school. Then again, this is a fictional world that they live in. So, authorities would totally give them a pass.
Stopping at School:
Once they arrive at school...
-The school isn't shown in this video.
...the gang is confronted with a new problem:
Rabbit: "...now we don't need to go to school."
-Oh great! Y'all wasted the bus driver's time and gas! Thanks, guy.
Piglet: "How will we get back home?"
-Well, your guess is as good as mine.
Pooh: "I don't think we'll be able to ride this back home." (holding up the toy bus)
-Imagination: Because reality should come... NEVER!
-Plus, I'm almost tempted to see those characters
try to ride their toy bus home. But no. It's already complicate enough seeing people in animal suits trying to act out this video.
Eeyore: "I should've known something like this would happen."
-(mimicking Eeyore)
Oh, I'm sorry. I still sound too high to understand our situation.
Bus Driver: "I'm going back near the wood to pick up some other passengers. I'll be glad to take you."
-Look at his mouth move. It's like a sock puppet jacked up on caffeine or something. Just replace his speech with nothing but "Ne ne ne ne ne..."
-Plus, when he said that line just now, all I was focusing on was his eyes. His eyes don't blink like the other characters. He doesn't blink
at all in this video! I don't know; he just seems soulless the whole video, except that he talks. (pause) Can we just call him Dead Eyes (for comedic purposes), since this guy has no name?
So the bus driver
Dead Eyes...
-(pause) Not catching on? Oh well...
So the bus driver agrees to take our characters home.
-Yeah, enjoy your free bus ride home... while the rest of us pay for public transportation.
Eeyore: "Hooray..."
-That sounded as if the voice actor was yawning while he said that one word. Just saying...
Back at the Wood:
After more lazy green-screen effects on the bus, the friends finally make it back home, where they learn how to exit the bus properly:
1. The person sitting towards the front exits first
2. No pushing on the way out
3. Hold onto the rail as you step off the bus
Narrator: "And even Tigger used the hand rail on his way out."
-Okay, so? That was so random.
Off the Bus:
So... what should our characters do now, now that Dead Eyes got them here?
-I'm sorry. I can't help but call this bus driver Dead Eyes.
Seeing that they need to cross the street now, Owl offers some advice... by telling a random family story:
Owl: "You know, my cousins Owlbert and Owline rode a school bus..."
-Just cut to the chase already, will ya! Even the video itself is completely annoyed by this.
Owl: "You have to remember to cross safely, step back from the bus door and bus wheel. Then walk forward eight steps ahead of the bus."
-Is it weird to say that while they're following this step, all I'm thinking about is that they look like they're dry-humping each other.
But the depressy donkey schmuck himself (Eeyore)... for some reason... is found behind the bus, and is told that that wasn't safe, which leads to another rule:
make sure the bus driver sees you as you cross the street...
-
That is, if he wasn't Dead Eyes... Okay, okay! I won't call him that anymore!
Eeyore: "See? You noticed me again."
-Put a sock in it! This ain't the time and place
or movie to be that reckless!
Crossing the Street:
The gang gets ready to cross the street... which leads to another song (more of a continuation of the first song).
Piglet (singing): "Walk to the edge of the bumper of the bus..."
-Man, shut up and cross the street already!
45 seconds later... (Yeah! I timed!)
As they
finally cross the street, Rabbit panics.
Rabbit: "Oh my gosh! I dropped my carrot! I'd better go back for it!"
-First of all, how did Rabbit drop his carrot to begin with? We never saw that.
-Second, he's a rabbit. Doesn't he have a bunch of other carrots at home?
The gang reminds Rabbit to never run into the street to chase something that he dropped.
End Scene:
So, after the bus driver gets going, Pooh finds himself sad.
Pooh: "Oh bother! Now our great school bus adventure is over!"
-Really? That's what you're upset about, because y'all's bus ride is over? Well, there's always tomorrow or next year, no?
-By the way, I'm still surprised that the bus driver never questioned giving a ride to a bunch of talking animals. But again, this is a work of fiction.
But his friends remind him that they were privileged to have that bus ride and to learn about bus safety. They also enjoyed the toy bus that Christopher Robin made for them.
-It's the thought that counts, right?
Pooh: "In fact, we may be on our way to another adventure right now!"
-(mimicking Pooh):
But oh! We're out of time, kids! Hoped you learned something about bus safety today! We now leave you by singing, and jogging away as if we're training for football or something.
-Yeah, no kidding! Look at how they run in that ending scene! You can easily shout out: "Run, Forrest, run!"... or in this case, "Run,
Furries, run!"
So that was the
Winnie the Pooh's School Bus Safety Adventure video. What are my thoughts on the video?
It's not a bad educational video. I mean, the effects can be cheesy at times. The songs are just as cheesy.
However, I'm just worried that the video's information feels outdated, because who do you think follows most of the rules that this video mentioned? I mean, many people these days take these rules for granted. So, technically, it's not really this video's fault.
Well, despite this video's choices of presenting itself, it would still need more work. It may be a video, but it just feels weird.
Whatsoever Critic
Sources:
Pooh's Great School Bus Adventure
Barney's Imagination Island
Nintendo DSi (for some of the visuals)
Courtesy: Disney Educational; HIT Entertainment; and Nintendo.