It's still the month of Christmas, and I'm here to review another Christmas special. Now, today's special is... interesting. Have you ever wondered whether Mr. Nezzer from Rack, Shack, and Benny had learned his lesson or not? Well, to be honest with you: No, he didn't. And what a better way to emphasize this pansy's antagonizing antics... by showing it in a Christmas special. It's that Veggietales Christmas special: The Toy That Saved Christmas.
Talk about awkwardness in a Christmas special! But it can't be that bad, right? But I'm getting ahead of myself.
So, let's look at Christmas in the world of Veggietales, by looking at The Toy That Saved Christmas.
Opening Scene:
The story officially starts with the camera homing in on snowflakes and passing by tree after tree.
And then we come across Grandpa George telling a story to his granddaughter Annie.
He tells her about how one town didn't "get" Christmas, or didn't understand it. He remembers being the mailman at the time.
-Is it me, or does this remind you much of the Fred Astaire's character in Santa Claus Is Coming To Town?
As soon as George drives into town, all the children come outside to get their packages, because apparently it's Christmas, so this must be a kids' day. The kids drive George nuts, even though he only has one package for House #4, making him lose the package onto somebody's rooftop.
Kids: (singing) "I can't believe it's Christmas!"
-Shut up! You all sung that a million times already! Okay, no song that has that lyric over and over is ever intended to be any good!
So, after some forcibly-used slap-stick antics from George, the package eventually makes its delivery to House #4.
George: "Well, that was easy."
-Uh, no. That was hell trying to deliver that package with kids all over you, high on (possibly) sugar and candy, and saying over and over "I can't believe it's Christmas."
Inside House #4:
The kids open the package and get a Christmas tree that magically opens itself up and decorates itself in milliseconds.
Then, as if on cue, the TV turns on, and none other than Mr. Nezzer himself dressed as Santa Claus pops up, advertising a new toy called Buzzsaw-Louie.
-Question: Why would you want to sell a toy that can potentially... no, not potential... can guarantee fatal harm to kids?
-And the kids want this toy? Are they high?
The toy also says what the "true meaning" of Christmas is: getting stuff and having more toys.
-Another blow to the nads, if you're a devout Christian.
-By the way, do you notice how the camera shooting Mr. Nezzer is always moving and zooming in and out? That's really annoying, even for a TV commercial.
In Town:
The kids run outside to their parents and demand a Buzzsaw-Louie and for more toys.
-Geez! This is becoming an epidemic! Don't you just hate these kind of moments where kids beg you for shit that cost a lot of money? I mean, where's the true meaning of Christmas? Will we ever get to that part?!
Toy Factory:
Mr. Nezzer oversees all the kids in town crying for more toys.
Mr. Nezzer thinks that this epidemic will make him lots of money, and make him more whiny than his brother Nebby K. Nezzer...
-Wait a minute. There are two Nezzers in this series? Um. (researching) So let me get this straight: Nebby K. Nezzer is the guy from the chocolate factory from Rack, Shack, and Benny; and you are Wally P. Nezzer in this video... Are there really two Nezzers? If so, then who's the evil twin? (researching) I'm guessing that this was a follow-up story of Rack, Shack, and Benny; and Nezzer just created an evil twin just because he got ratings from Rack, Shack, and Benny.
Toy Factory (cont'd.):
George continues the story to his granddaughter, saying that as Buzzsaw-Louies were flying off the assembly line, one of the products winced as their nose was put into them. George says that the toy may have been wired differently.
Later that night, this weird Buzzsaw Louie is sad.
Buzzsaw Louie: (singing) "Grumpy kids, greedy kids. This is not what Christmas means..."
-Finally, a song that questions the silly commercial racket that spawns during the holidays!
-I got to admit that this song actually works, because this is a toy in a box singing this, and you can't help but feel what he's feeling right now.
Then the toy sees a bright star above him and still ponders what Christmas really means. He manages to escape his box by... (this is gonna blow you away, listen) faking the night guard that sees that his box is on the floor but then walks away as if nothing was ever out of place.
-How can the guard miss something so simple as that? How distracted is this guard?
(mimicking the guard) Oh look! A toy is out of place and needs to be on the shelf... Oh, wait. I have to check my Facebook status first. (gasp) Mr. Nezzer's brother from another mother... I mean, another video is going on a chocolate bunny binge?!
So Buzzsaw Louie escapes into the snowy weather, only to get himself trapped in a pile of snow.
The Next Day:
We then cut to Junior, Larry, and Bob sledding reckless in the forest, until they run into a fence with a skull-and-bones version of a danger sign.
Bob: "I wanted to play Mouse Trap. You roll your dice, you move your mice. Nobody gets hurt."
-(pausing) Uh, thanks, Bob, for the random line there...
Larry makes the discovery that the fence leads to a broken-down bridge. But that's nothing, because the trio find a Buzzsaw Louie in the snow.
-Yeah, but to be fair, a toy found in the snow isn't as riveting as finding a pathway to a destroyed land monument that mistakenly over-foreshadows the story's suspense for later on...
The trio push the toy's nose and hear him say the "true meaning of Christmas," but Buzzsaw Louie comes to life and tells them that that's not what Christmas is about.
-I like how Bob, Larry, and Junior never question the talking toy that's in their presence. If one of them were to freak out about a possessed toy, then that at least would've gotten a bit of a laugh.
Buzzsaw Louie tells the trio that he's on a quest to find the true meaning of Christmas, and the trio agrees to help him. Bob tells Louie that he knows somebody that can help them...
-Okay, wait. Bob, you only knew this toy for five seconds, and already you're hooking him up with some guy you knew? Well, anything to get through a 30-minute video time slot, right?
George's House:
So the trio makes it to George's house, and... that's right. This is the guy that Bob was talking about. George is somehow involved in this story.
-In Rack, Shack, and Benny, he was the narrator, but he wasn't involved in the story. Here, he's narrating the story, and he just happened to be in the story. Annie must be like: Wow, Grandpa, you're in this story, too!
Then George reads to the threesome from his Bible about the Nativity scene with the shepherds seeing angels announce the birth of Christ on that Christmas Eve.
George reveals that God gave people Jesus as a gift, which meant that the true meaning of Christmas is about giving back, not getting things for Christmas. Christmas also meant the birth of Jesus.
The trio learn all this, but are concerned about everyone else.
Junior: "We gotta tell Dinkletown what we know about Christmas!"
-Whoa! That's the name of the town? Dinkletown? I learned that just now! And plus, the place doesn't look like a town, but only a circle of houses. Have y'all ever noticed that?
The trio sees that they have little time to tell everyone the true meaning of Christmas, because Christmas is tomorrow. Then Junior thinks up a way to tell everyone about Christmas: breaking into the toy factory and broadcasting their message.
-That's right, folks. Breaking-and-entering logic is gonna try and save the day here...
Toy Factory Scene 3:
So the trio makes it to the toy factory. They sneak in from the back, avoid getting caught by the penguin guards, and break into the factory's studio room. So the crew begins broadcasting their message, which is being viewed on everyone's television in their town.
Junior is the first to speak in the broadcast and say that Christmas isn't about being greedy and wanting more toys. He then gives the speech to Buzzsaw Louie, who quickly gets the audience's attention and have them listen more. Louie then fills everyone in on the story of when Jesus was born, which led to the event being called Christmas; and every family is huddled together in their living rooms to listen to the true meaning of Christmas.
But eventually, Mr. Nezzer ends up finding out that his studio is being, and he and his sidekick Mr. Lunt go after the intruders.
When the bad guys arrive, they attack Junior, Bob, Larry, and Buzzsaw Louie on live TV, which provokes all the families watching this to go to the toy factory to give Nezzer what for.
Captivity Scene:
Our heroes get tied up on a snow sled that's set to ride towards the broken-down bridge that's been mentioned a few times now.
Mr. Nezzer: "So you're the guys that want to ruin my Christmas."
-Dude, don't act like our heroes did anything wrong. You're the one pushing people into saying that the true meaning of Christmas is commercialism! Don't be a scrooge!
And, get a load of this, Larry tells Nezzer to not send them to the town where the bridge is out at, which conveniently curbs Nezzer's want for destruction.
-Great call on that, Larry. Rule of thumb: don't let your enemies know any of your weaknesses! Okay, now this is starting to become deja vu. Why? Because that was the same thing I said about Skipper letting Dr. Blowhole know his Peanut Butter Winkie candy fetish in Dr. Blowhole's Revenge! I mean, your life is at stake here, and all you're doing is fueling the fire that's about to burn you! THINK! And even Bob mumbles "Way to go" to Larry. (Yeah, I would say the same thing.)
Mr: Nezzer: "Now, on my signal..."
Mr. Nezzer is about to send the trio to their doom.
-(sarcasm) Boy, am I scared for our heroes...
Mr. Nezzer: "...three... two... one last thing..."
-You're not killing them just yet?! Well, not that I'm for killing them, but are you trying to create suspense? That's gonna be impossible, you know why? Because you're in a video called The Toy That Saved Christmas! People aren't supposed to die on Christmas. And people aren't supposed to kill people or threaten to kill either! Go back and try again!
But thankfully, the families arrive to file complaints against Nezzer.
One Parent: "That's why we came here: to give you what you deserve!"
-Please say that Veggietales is firing Mr. Nezzer from being a cast member...
The families give him a Christmas present.
-Wait... what?! They give him a gift!!! But... but... Nezzer was about to kill innocent people!!! Wow, who would've thought that you can get an award for being an awkward asshole. (Blow me.)
Well, Mr. Nezzer is grateful for the teddy bear that he gets for Christmas...
-Dude, that's great and all, but how about untying our heroes?
Speaking of which, Mr. Nezzer accidentally presses a button, letting the sled holding the captives ride to their pending doom.
Mr. Nezzer sees his mistake and decides that he must save them. So supervillain-turned-superhero Nezzer grabs a sled and rides to save our heroes.
-Former-Awkward Asshole away!
While that's going on, Mr. Nezzer's penguin workers help out by grabbing their own sleds and following their boss in hot pursuit.
While on the ride, Buzzsaw Louie cuts the rope with his buzzsaw, makes a lasso out of it, and throws it at tree where it gets caught around it. The tree stops the trio from going any further, but now Mr. Nezzer is the one that needs saving. Luckily, the penguins arrive to save the day. Buzzsaw Louie hitches a ride on one of the penguins' sleds and uses his buzzsaw to slow the sled down. This leads to an impressive reenactment of the Barrel of Monkeys game if the game was ever taken to the extreme.
-Okay, what's with all the close-ups in this movie? If you want to create suspense, fine. But why the close-ups? They're like a kazillion of them in this movie!
-And look at how this scene is being choreographed! It's like Cirque Du Solei if it was run by a group of hero penguins trying to save a person from falling off a cliff. I mean, nobody can ever accomplish that kind of feat, unless overseen by Hollywood wizardry.
Christmas Day:
So Mr. Nezzer gets saved, and then the next day on Christmas, everyone in town exchanges gifts with each other. Even Mr. Nezzer is invited to the festivities.
-Yeah, in fictional Christmas stories, even an all-around jerk can get a pass on his/her mischief and get gifts and invites to Christmas celebrations. (Blow me.)
As for Buzzsaw Louie, he gets the occupation of making furniture for the town with his buzzsaw. He even gets his own house to work in.
-So, just a recap, guys: People learn the true meaning of Christmas; the story's antagonist gets gifted on Christmas; and the story's hero ends up working on Christmas in a job that may make him slave through building furniture for a town. Wow, for a Christmas special, that part was just diabolical!
George: (narrating) "It was the best Christmas ever." Unless your Christmas was about stopping a power-obsessed toy maker, riding a snow sled almost to your doom, and then working as the town's new furniture builder on the holiday... THE END : )
And that was... well, I'm indifferent.
Well, it's best to address the bad stuff about this video. Part of it was annoying; and part of it was diabolical- well, for one, Mr. Nezzer being a dear-old A-hole; and two, the true meaning of Christmas isn't made fully known until everyone in the movie sees it; like first the heroes learn it, then the families in town, and then the main villain who (Thank God) had a change of heart. (That just takes forever, and makes the story so bland.) Plus, I felt that this special was rushed- I mean, I understand the 30-minute time slot to go with this video, but why not convey more emotion, instead of just throwing stuff at us, such as random lines and stuff?
Okay, that was all my bad stuff. Now, for the good things about this movie, I liked the premise, even though it wasn't much. I liked how the moral is known throughout the story, which is what a story is supposed to do, especially if it concerns the true meaning of Christmas. Plus, the writing wasn't too bad; in fact, I didn't even show you half of the written character-based jokes that were in this video. It's not all bad.
Well, I hope you find this video interesting. For what it is, it's okay.
Amateur Critic
Source: Veggietales: The Toy That Saved Christmas
All rights go to Big Idea Entertainment.
